Ch. 36: Saying Good Bye

A Chapter by Tina Bee

Myra learns what it truly means to let go.

Saturday morning I awoke feeling bloated and hungry. I was in the kitchen before mom who had agreed to help Mrs. Parker set up for the reception after Eliza's funeral.

I made myself a bagel with extra cream cheese and then I grabbed a pudding cup and some hot sauce. I almost put them back, but I had to try it and I ended up having no regrets. It was heavenly and I grabbed a water and went back up to my room.

I pulled my little black dress out that I wore to such occasions. One of mom's ex-boyfriend's had been killed in a terrible car accident two years ago and we were all forced to go to his funeral. I was about the same height then as I was now so the dress should've fit, however upon trying it on I found that it attached to my hips in the most unflattering way. I took the dress off and threw it back into my closet. I found a more recent black pant suit and it fit me just well except for in the thigh area, but that was ok. I ate my bagel and went to read my text messages. There were a whole bunch from The Crew letting me know, once again, Cameron would stop to pick me up at approximately eight AM to get to the hall that Mr. and Mrs. Clovers had rented out for Eliza's funeral.

Because of all the press attention and media exposure Eliza's story had received a lot of people would be there. The night before the event Violetta posted a MySpace blog about how inappropriate it was of Eliza's aunt and uncle to make the funeral public. Violetta said it would've been better if it'd been private with only close relatives and friends.

Scott then went on to remind her that at least this way we'd all get to go. Whitney Clovers was not fond of any of us and with Eliza going missing the way she had it was best to let her family do what they wanted and be grateful we were allowed in.

The sky outside was a odd mixture of blue and grey. I knew the sun would shine even on a sad day as this one.

I didn't even feel like doing my hair, but I took off my suit and did it anyways. I could feel the tears coming already and I knew I had to get a grip of myself before I left the house.

At around seven-forty five I made my way down the stairs where mom was walking into the kitchen.

"Like I said it's ok for them to drive you, but you're coming back with me," Mom told me and I looked at her.

"That's fine," I replied and she stared at me intently.

"You're wearing that?" Mom asked me and I knew she didn't approve.

"It's the only thing that fits," I said to her.

"No, you're going to wear a dress. Your stomach is already poking a little and it's obvious," mom said to me as she back tracked into her bedroom.

I followed her and she pulled out one of her more expensive dresses. It was a black channel piece. Mom was one size larger than me, but I knew at this point her clothes would fit me just fine.

"I'll get dressed in your bathroom," I told her as I picked up the dress.

"No, get dressed right here. I want to see how far along you are," Mom told me and I looked at her confused, but with the time restraint I did as she said.

I took the pants off first and then the top. Like mom said my tummy was already poking out and it was more obvious when I was semi-nude that I was pregnant.

I put the dress on quickly, but mom stood there quietly.

"Is there any jewelry I could put on?" I asked her feeling naked still.

"Yes, grab a gold chain and that pair of gold hoop earrings. You should wear your hair in a bun instead of down," Mom said, then she went into her bathroom to fish out a hair tie that would do the job.

I put the earrings on and then the gold chain. I looked in the mirror and liked what I saw. This dress hid everything and I looked a little bit like my old self except the puffiness in my face.

"Thank you for everything," I told mom while I stood there letting her fix my hair.

"I'm guessing you're closer to twelve weeks along," Mom said to me.

"What's that mean?" I asked her.

"It means you're three months along, silly," Mom answered in a gruff tone.

"That doesn't sound right," I said aloud, mostly to myself.

"When a woman becomes pregnant she is already two weeks along. When she misses her period she is already four weeks along. You and Langston consummated at the beginning of June and it's the end of August. Do you understand?" Mom asked me.

"Yes I do," I told her, but that would make it the same time frame for Greg to be the father too.

"If you choose to keep this child he or she will be your responsibility. I'm sorry for my harsh words, it's just you were taught way better than this. You can stay here, but on your eighteenth birthday you need to be on your own," mom said to me which got me thinking.

Had I really been taught better? Was she really the role model she made herself out to be?

I didn't answer her because my cell phone was going off. Everyone was outside waiting for me. Mom was finished with my hair and I looked in the mirror. I was stunning and yet I felt like crying.

"Today I'm just going to think about Eliza, who was my friend and who is now gone forever. How can I willingly kill a child when someone who was so close to me died in such an unwilling way?" I asked mom, but I didn't give her anytime to answer.

I was out of her bedroom door and then the front door before she could say anything.

"There must be over five thousand people here," Jimmy said to me as we walked in, "scratch that, ten thousand."

The hall rented out said it's maximum capacity was twenty-thousand, but I was afraid that would be exceeded in a manner of minutes. We were led by an usher to a row that had fifteen seats. We all picked up the pamphlet dedicated to Eliza and began reading. Amber was strangely quiet and when I asked Jimmy about her he told me she was under heavy sedation.

Our seats were close to the front where the closed casket was. With the way the body had been found it was best that the public not view the body. I could see Eliza that day in the field twirling around and now here she was as still as she'd ever be. Now Eliza was getting ready to say goodbye to the world.

I looked over at Crystal who had her head propped against Robbie. They were holding hands, but this time Crystal held her stomach as they sat together. I looked down at myself. Beneath this black dress was a being that was constantly growing within me. I had no idea what to think about it so I stopped.

Jimmy sat as close to me as possible. I could feel his breath against me and his hand slipping next to mine, but I resisted.

"It's not the time, Jimmy," I whispered to him causing him to move away a little bit.

I watched the masses pour in. I couldn't believe that all these people had been touched by Eliza's story. Soon enough mom, Kevin, Mike, and Sonny walked in and I motioned for them to come sit next to me where it was closer to the front. Apparently mom had been given 3 front row seats by Mrs. Clovers. Sonny was the only one who came to sit by me.

"When is this thing supposed to start?" Sonny asked me in a irritated tone.

"You look handsome," I said to him instead of answering his question.

Sonny's naturally curly hair was gelled to make the spirals even more evident. In his off white suit with matching dress shoes Sonny's looks could kill.

"Whatever, I'm only here because she was your friend," Sonny retorted, but I knew that in his own way he was saying thank you.

The ceremony began a few seconds later the lights dimmed and a slide show that depicted Eliza's life from birth to the last few days that she was here on Earth with us. Soft classical music played along with it and the hall was full of crying now. One woman was in the front wailing and had to be carried out.

After the slide show Eliza's pastor, who identified himself as Father Ross, spoke on behalf of the Clovers and Kemperts' who were grieving over the loss of their beloved Eliza who was taken from this world all too soon. Father Ross was followed by a gospel choir that had been hidden on the right side of the memorial hall by a curtain. As it went up the people were revealed and so was a video of a birthday party. The date on the video read, October fourth of last year.

The entire Crew was featured in the video along with who I presumed to be Mr. and Mrs. Clovers singing happy birthday to her.

Amber fell on the floor with grief. Nick and Scott hopped up and carried her out of the building. In on the mêlée I hadn't noticed that people were moving over until I saw Violetta moving toward the end where Sonny was. I scooted over so that she could sit to his left. The choir ended just as the last few moment of the tape went on.

"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday Dear Eliza, Happy Birthday to you," and then the sounds of plastic whistles went off and everyone was clapping. Someone asked something in the background and Eliza turned and looked at the camera and said, "if I tell my wish won't come true."

The tape cut out and the lights were brightened.

Another man got up to speak and he identified himself as Eliza's cousin, Eddie, who she had grown up with. Eddie told the funniest stories about a young imaginative Eliza who always had something to explore or a case to crack. He described her as a mini-detective always looking for clues. People in the crowd laughed and when Eddie was done he went up to Eliza's pink casket and kissed her good bye. This brought tears to my eyes and I was overwhelmed by every emotion in the book.

I felt myself hyperventilating from the shock and panic of these emotions. I grasped onto Jimmy's hand and he looked at me and started rubbing my back. I leaned forward to give myself more air and that's when the full memory of Eliza's last moments came to my head and I was seized by it.

I saw her talking to me as I grappled with ways to get out of the room. I saw the full moon in the sky as it cast an eerie light over her silky white smooth skin. I was only able to hear her voice a few seconds into the image. She was asking me if she should go with him and I heard myself mindlessly telling her to go for it. Soon we were outside of the SUV and the guy was parked next to us. Eliza got in and waved at me as the guy pulled out and left the parking lot.

Eliza's face, Eliza's wave, the last images of Eliza flooded my mind and I let out a mind numbing shriek. Jimmy stood up and now he carried me outside of the hall. I could see a woman sitting on a couple of benches being fanned. From what I saw she had to be Eliza's biological mother. They had the same facial features and hair color. She was a little smaller than Eliza, but the resemblance was strong.

We even passed by Amber who was gripping Nick's hand as she guzzled down a bottle of water. She was leaned up about Scott for support and in my mind they mind a fine couple.

"My daddy let me borrow his car for today. He and my mama are out of town for the weekend. They regret not making the funeral, but they've made it a point to remind me that roaming the streets late at night is dangerous. I don't think I'll ever go over night to a concert again," Jimmy rattled off with holding onto his hand for dear life.

"Take me to your house," I begged him and he was happy to oblige.

Jimmy's father drove a newer model black BMW with tinted window and spinners on the wheels. I knew that Jimmy had done well for his parents and that he was proud of this. I opted to lay in the back seat where the sun wasn't glaring upon me. Jimmy drove the usual way home, but this time he turned a little ways before the street to get to my house. After a few minutes of curving around streets we were brought to a sizable looking house at the end of Humbert Street. This section of Pinewood Acres featured residents who loved showing off during the holiday season.

We pulled into the garage and Jimmy got out to escort me into his home. We entered through the kitchen which was decorated plaques of catchy phrases and porcelain renditions of mini chefs placed here in there. The living room contained a Plasma television that was cradled on the wall with black leather couches and light brown colored carpet. Family photos were everywhere and I could tell that this was a place filled with love.

"You can have a seat on the couch if you want," Jimmy said awkwardly without looking at me.

"No, take me up to your room," I told him and he nodded.

We went up hard floored stairs. Jimmy told me that his mother had the wood imported from North Carolina since they had the best timber in the United States.

I was a little put off by Jimmy's bedroom. It was very sparse compared to the other parts of his house. He had one Spider Man poster on his wall with a king sized bed that had all white sheets. On the left side was a computer held up by a desk. Papers were scattered all over said desk and Jimmy made a feeble attempt to clean.

"I'm sorry for the mess," he mumbled, but I forgave him.

"I just want to be with you, alone, and away from all that sadness in that hall," I said to Jimmy as I took a seat on his bed.

"Eliza's death has really got me thinking about my life," Jimmy told me as he took a seat at his desk.

"In what ways?" I asked him as I got settled on his bed by taking off my shoes.

"When I was in high school I played sports and I was damn good. Then that whole bank robbery thing happened and I was messed up forever. I just keep thinking if Eliza had had something constructive to do maybe she'd still be alive," Jimmy said to me and I was amazed.

"That's very insightful, Jimmy," I complimented him as I took off mom's jewelry and shoved them into my purse.

"So, what exactly did you want to do in here?" Jimmy asked me.

"Let me show you," I said to him as I stood up and slid the dress of me.

I stood there in just my bra and panties. Jimmy did not hesitate to move toward me and soon we were entangled in a passionate love dance that lasted way after the funeral was over and halfway through the reception that proceeded it.

When Jimmy and I pulled up in front of the Clovers' residence it was like some big Hollywood premiere. People were everywhere just drinking, eating, and enjoying themselves the best they could under the circumstances. We both got out of the car and entered the home where Eliza had spent the last years of her life in.

Mrs. Clovers had spoken to mom about the interior designer she'd used to model the foyer, living room, dining room, and bathrooms. As you walked in a huge chandelier gritted you from the ceiling. The white tiled floors had black tiles made an X shape where a table stood smack in the middle of it. To my left was a Victorian styled sitting chair which an older couple were occupying and to the right was a spiraled staircase that led to the top floor of the house. The banister was pure white and Jimmy whispered to me that Eliza had told him it was made out of pure ivory.

Once in the living room we made our way to the backyard where the rest of The Crew waited.

"It's about time you two love birds graced us with your presence," Cameron slurred through his alcohol induced speech.

To add tastelessness to the scene Greg was among the crowd. When he saw Jimmy and I he scowled, but said nothing. It was already four PM in the afternoon and the sun was making it's way to rise in China.

Violetta made space for me to sit next to her and she excitedly told me about her conversation with Sonny after the reception. It hadn't led to the exchanging of phone numbers, but he complimented her hair and said to let me know not to keep such pretty friends away from the house.

"Do you think I have a shot?" Violetta asked me.

"I think you do," and for the first time in a long time that was the God's honest truth.

As time went on the hours got later more and more people left. By seven PM it was really only family and parents of members of The Crew left.

Whitney Clovers made her way outside where she pulled Crystal, Amber, Violetta, and I aside to have a private talk. I could tell that she'd been drinking and possibly under the influence of other substances, but at the moment it didn't matter.

"I want to thank all four of you for being there for Eliza when she would clam up and not speak with me. I believe you're all what kept her sane. The investigation into her death is on going. I know you heard about a possible arrest, but apparently the man who picked her up from the concert had nothing to do with her disappearance, or..." Mrs. Clovers had to stop herself, "anyways he is no longer a suspect. The investigators are saying that Eliza was likely the victim of a serial killer."

Serial killings were not something that we dealt with here in Pinewood Acres. We were allowed to walk around however late it got within the community and still feel safe. The simple fact that Eliza had been the victim of an abduction and murder were such far fetched ideas that it shattered the very glass that we all had lived in.

Now we truly knew that it was not safe to walk around alone whenever you felt like. The boogie man truly did exist and he'd taken Eliza from all of us.

"We're all very sorry for you loss, Whitney," Amber said to her in a hoarse voice.

"Thank you, sweetie. Now I pulled you all aside because there's the matter of Eliza's bedroom full of her belongings. I can't bring myself to even go passed her door which she closed before she left that day. I was wondering if sometime in the future the four of you would like to come by and box her things up. You can take whatever you'd like to remember her by, but the boxes will be sent to my Mother-In-Law for safe keeping," Mrs. Clovers said and this made the skin crawl on the back of my neck.

The very thought of going through Eliza's things and taking what we wanted was sickening. I was disgusted by this, but maybe that was just the grief talking.

"We should do it on her one year anniversary," Crystal said and we all nodded in agreement.

"Good so I'll see you all next year on July fifth. The coroner said that was her date of death and they're sure of it. My Eliza, my sweet, sweet Eliza," Mrs. Clovers said as she walked away from us still rambling to herself.

"I hope she'll be ok," I said to everyone.

"I hope we'll all be ok," Crystal retorted and we went back to the boys who were now discussing the death penalty and all it's benefits.

The sun was setting now. I watched it through teary eyes as something Eliza had last said to me ran through my mind:

"Is it bad to go with him?"

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