Overreaction

Flash Fiction (Sci-fi)

It was a mistake, an accident from her heart. Jadalyn stared at the sterling silverware and at the sterling silverware and at the plate of spinach salad before her -- a meal Kuya ordered for her earlier. Glancing towards the window, the four turquoise moons shone. Staring at Kuya, the purplish jackal-like being sitting across from her at the table, she decided to tell him.

 

Kuya looked up at her, his slanted eyes practically alert: "Is everything all right?"

 

"I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I don't think this is a good time for us to --"

 

"Look, if this is about your mutated DNA, don't worry about it. I told you before that I love you no matter what you did in the past or even the fact that you --"

 

"That I what? That I can't control myself?" Jadalyn growled and revealed miniscule fangs.

 

Kuya fiddled with his clawed hands and turned his head away from her: "No...but you do tend to get into a rage."

 

"Oh, so you're saying that growing claws and nibbling your fur with my teeth gets me into a rage?"

 

"No! That's not what I'm trying to say!"

 

"Then what are you trying to say?"

 

"I -- I don't want this to go between us honey. We are from the same species...right?"

 

Jadalyn averted her eyes, ashamed to show Kuya her auburn misty eyes.

 

"Thank you for everything. I'm afraid this is goodbye."

 

And with that she started to leave the restaurant, absentmindedly bumping into the customers entering and exiting. Kuya stared at her for a moment before he could react:

 

"Jadalyn wait! Where are you going?" he called out as he ran after her.

 

"Please don't leave!"

 

"What do you want Kuya?" Jadalyn coldly asked him. "Can't you see that everyone's staring at us?"

 

Kuya glanced at the customer with puzzled looks. The waier glared at him for he left without paying the check. He turned to Jadalyn and knelt down in front of her:

 

"Please, it doesn't matter if you're a freak. I -- I love you. I want us to be together for always. I'll even show the whole universe how much I truly love you. I'll do it without feeling embarrassed. I want you to be my life partner and the bearer of my children. I --"

 

"What are you talking about?! It's our first date! This is the night of the full lunar cycles -- I need to get real food!"

Author's Note

This is a flash fiction piece I did last year that's part of a five year project that I'm doing right now. Both of the characters are Atenians (Jackal-like aliens), although Jadalyn is from a group of Atenians that are born with a mutated DNA that causes a transformation into a werewolf-like being during the full lunar cycles on Planet Atenia.

Reviews

[Azeremen12]

Hehe, liked the ending. This is such a relatively "mundane" snippet of the fiction you describe that I honestly left this story feeling nothing. I just wonder if maybe you could have shown us a scene that established the setting and tone better. I left this story honestly imagining your characters on this planet as human beings. If they are jackal-like people do they even sit the same way we do? What are their chairs like? The description of purple skin and fangs was too scant.

[Tara Murasaki]

Very interesting. I look forward to reading more about these characters, and their world. I also like the special twist at the end.

[J.D. Pine]

Its not bad. I'd like to read more to get a better understanding of the plot.