I Wonder

I Wonder

 

Mabey if I had done something differently,

You would still be here.

 

Mabey If I hadn’t insisted that we stay, just for one more hour.

You would still be here.

 

Mabey if I had insisted on driving,

You would still be here.

 

I wonder,

I wonder if I had done one little thing differently,

Would it have saved you from fate?

Would you still be here?

Would you still be here with me?

Mabey I should’ve done something differently.

 

I can still hear our screams,

As that truck hit us,

As that truck changed our lives forever.

 

I remember being thrashed around,

Wondering if I was dead,

Wondering if you were okay.

 

When I woke up in that cold hospital bed,

I remember calling your name.

When the nurse told me that you were dead,

I wept for you, hour after hour,

Calling your name,

Wishing that it was me, instead.

 

When there were no more tears to cry,

I lied there, on my back, staring at the dull walls,

Wondering,

                   Wondering,

                                      Wondering.

I kept thinking that this was just a nightmare,

And that If I could force myself to wake up,

That I could call you myself and hear your comforting voice.

 

But as reality set in,

After I got over my denial,

I realized that never again would I hear your voice,

Never again would I see your smiling face,

Never again,

                     Never again,

     Never again.

 

I still wonder,

I wonder why it was you,

And not me.

 

I still cry every once in a while for you,

I still wonder if there was anything that I could do.

I still wonder why it was you.

 

I wish that you weren’t stolen from me,

So very harshly.

I wish that you were still here, with me.

I wish that you never left me.

 

I miss you.

I wonder if there was anything that I could do…

 

I Wonder.