Pg 3

   The Chemo was killing her blood so she didn't want it after that. She was at home for at least a week. It was nice seeing her outside of a hospital. It was nice seeing her in her own element, then after that week my mother got up to go to the bathroom then fell down and could not get back up. My father came in to help her up and put her back in bed then my mother said to him that she could not move and that she thought it would be best to go back to the hospital.
   I called my father that day and I knew something was wrong the minute he answered the phone. He had a panic tone to his voice and I knew it was mom. I asked him what was going on and he said that mom could not get out of bed and he was going to call 911 to get her to the hospital so that's what he did. My sister was out with her husband and had left the phone on the charger. I didn't know the phone was at home. I was calling her for two hours. By the time they did get home I was in a panic wondering where they were. My friend had come over that night to watch movies but ended up looking after my son which she didn't mind giving the situation, so we went to the hospital and found her in the emergency room.
   When we arrived we all sat around her bed. I was sitting on the left side of my mother. My sister and her husband on the right, my father sitting at her feet. We waited for the doctor
   The time goes by so slowly. I watch nurse after nurse walk by wondering if one of them will come to my mother's bedside. All I can do is sit there while the smell of the hospital makes me feel ill. It feels like years of waiting for someone, anyone to come see my mother. I have never had a stronger feeling of helplessness in my life. I watch a woman walk by who had black pants, a white and black striped shirt and black hair. I don't know why I noticed her or why I choose to "study" her as she walked by. I guess it was to pass the time while waiting for a doctor. Then I see him ... the doctor as he walks right on by to another bed. Why does he not realize that my mother is the one who needs him? I am finding it very hard to sit still. I want to stand and to sit. I am not sure what to do with myself so I sit beside her holding her hand, hoping someone will be there soon. As I look into her eyes I do not see my mother , the woman who raised my sister and I. I am not sure what I see. When I look up I see more nurses walk by with their shoes squeaky on the Emergency room floor. Then I look at my father and I take notice of the look of despair in his eyes. The woman lying on the bed, my mother, his wife was so thin. Then I look into her eyes and I feel a sence of calmness even when my sister and I are crying, my mother ... she is so calm and her in eyes I see the look of "hope" comforting me and letting me know that everything will be fine, then he walked in ... the doctor. I have never felt such an overwhelming feeling of "relief". He says to her that he will do blood work and keep her in overnight and as my sister, myself and her husband depart, we all give her a kiss and tell her that we will see her tomorrow.