Your Gifts?

Are we just fireing neurons, or is there more?

 

 

 

Did I give you skills in which you excel

So you could try and fail your entire life?

No. I gave you life and seasoned  with strife

Because I knew the strength of your mettle.

 

Are your deepest desires an instinctual rift,

Wasted in modern times as gatherers glean?

No. So take your dreams and lift your esteem,

And remember, you are my treasured gift.

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Ryhme scheme ABBA CDDC, line syllable count is going to be 10. (pretty sure at least :) ) I am totally stuck on the last line. The question this poem addresses is are all of our desires simple instinct or are our skills a gift. The secondary question of this piece is why do we suffer? I need a makeover on the last line and each time I end up with about the same thing...any ideas would be super duper appreciated!!! (((hugs))) t.

OK, not much feedback and that is a bit sad...it seems rappers can collaborate to make cheesy sensual rhymes and get rich and poets...well not so much. I wish that was not so. PS No offense against rap..many love it and I respect that.

Reviews

[James K. Blaylock]

I really loved this piece. It spoke unto me stating that all of our gifts are God given and should be used as such. Be blessed.

jkb

[Charles D. Moorer]

I think you take something from your reading public when you explain what the poem is about. The reader takes delight in decoding and deconstructing the poets work. You rob us of that. When you work with rhyme schemes and meter, sometimes you get stuck by the form. You might want to reconsider writing this same piece in free verse.