Beauty At Its Finest

This was written for school. Its a Shakespearean sonnet. I don't normally like writing to restricted guidelines, but I tried my best. Hope you like.

More beautiful than the stars and the skies,

Is the look in your bright eyes when you smile.

I love the light in the depth of your eyes,

Which makes me want to delve in for awhile.

My heart is pounding like a hammer with flare.

Just like a fire, my heart burns with pure love.

Now to tell you how I feel, would I dare?

To have you ever more, I wish through a dove.

There is no celebrity that compares,

To that pure tanned skin and those soft red lips.

You don't know it, but you're far from a mare.

I need you so bad, that my heart will rip.

I promise to always be there for you;

Even when the bright days turn dull, gloomy and dark.

I just need someone real, and that's just you.,

Because you make things more than just dry bark.

Comparing you to a bright summer's day,

You beat all the pretty song birds that fly away.

Author's Note

This was just for school. :) As you probably noticed I got some inspiration from Shakespeare on the second last line.

Reviews

[Allan Eddings]

If this was your first attempt at writing within a particular style you should congratulate yourself this is a very well written piece. I personally always find writing within a particular style exceptionally difficult, especially if I am being made to - though that could just be my petulant nature which loathes being told to doing anything. With the final simile in the fourth stanza particularly. While reading it I wondered whether perhaps likening your love to an ark which shelters you and lifts you with the seas of life might not work better? And it would still keep the rhyme with "dark." Just a thought.

Who hasn't been inspired by the bard from time to time, the man was a genius. I am fond of his plays beyond all reason.

This was a heartfelt and work of great integrity, keeping that honesty when forced into a certain and unfamiliar style is no small feat and you should be congratulated for that alone. I enjoyed this poem and especially for seeing your pen beginning to flex and take on new unfamiliar styles. I cannot wait to see what else you will write.

Best regards,
A.E.

[Chrishauna Thompson]

This poem really speaks to me.! It lets me know that someone is out their after reading this it made me think.! That love is somewhere you really are a great writer and I dont say that to alot of people.! and it takes alot for a poem to speak to me so I say good job.! and Thankyou.!

[DreamWeaver 2154]

Oh yes I see Shakespeare in here :) I've seen love and I've seen passion. Love is the beginning, the simple feeling of want, need, comfort, an pleasure, while passion takes it a step further, bringing the two people closer than ever before. I see both in tis poem. Wel done.

One of my greatest desire, though both timeless and limited, is to find an ever-lasting love, one as depicted in this poem. Brilliant work :)

[K-mo]

beautifully done!