Just-broke

same,as,before...read,let,me,know,what,it,makes,you,think/feel

there,
then
just,now
that,was,me,breaking

a,second,ago
a,heartbeat
a,nanosecond
did,you,notice

as,it,gets,that,second,farther,
can,you,feel,me,stretch,like,rubber
catering,to,a,flood,
no,floodgates,there,to,hold

there,
then
you,did,it
you,broke,me

a,mean,thing
a,choice,
you,didnt,think
about.

but,blindly,you,take,no,blame
as,no,rule,was,broken,in,the,game
things,chopped,misplaced,not,changed
tomorrow,itll,begin,again.

waiting,til.the,next,time
you,choose,to,not,pick,me
patient,for,the,next,time,you
cut,a,chunk,out.

you,can,slide,your,viscious,f*****g
claws,into,someone,youve,told,
things,arent,always,the,same.
for,he,has,no,resistance
to,this,petutulant,insistance

Stab,rip,tear,retch,
push,me,to,the,floor
make,me,lay,there
force,me,alive,no,more

im,sick,of,this,this,pain,i,feel
when,always,chosen,last
but,what,triggered,this,last,fall
was,not,being,chosen,not,at,all.

there
then
i,thought,
id,be,okay

now,i,dont,want,to,face,another,day
i,feel,this,s**t,too,strongly
where,can,i,run?
with,my,rag,doll,seams,undone.

stuffing,spewing,
onto,the,stoic,stones,
that,i,think,were,once
compassionate,selfless,hearts

take,me,to,a,playground,maybe,some
kid,unknowing,and,untainted
might,pick,me,for,the,team
might,
maybe
theres,a,chance


then
there
before
id,have,believed,it

this
now
pain

Author's Note

i,have,a,broken,spacebar,however,i,find,that,in,a,postmodern,sense,the,comma,becomes,just,a,break,between,words.if,i,were,to,bother,to,use,an,on,screen,keyboard,space....it,would,represent,a,pause

Reviews

[octane143]

I kinda like the comma actually, it seemed to add a sense of urgency to the poem. At first I was wondering what in the hell you were doing with the comma, but I personally really liked it. Might be interesting to re-read it later without it though, just to see if it adds that same sense of urgency, or maybe it is just the words. I like the way at times in the poem it seemed maybe you felt just alittle hope, only to be let down once again. I really like this poem, I like the flow. The words are beautiful as is the rejection and pain.