It-Hurt

yeah....you,can,decide,what,its,about

it,hurt
that,you,are,nice,to,me
and,make,me,smile
when,your,gift,was,poison

i,want,to,hate,you
it,hurt
that,you,made,me,smile
when,i,felt,like,killing,you

i,want,to,take,it,back
i,dont,wanna,know,you
it,hurt
because,i,feel,that,way

i,dont,think,i,can,smile
i,tried,today,it,was,empty
and,it,made,my,soul,sad
it,hurt.

Author's Note

i,have,a,broken,spacebar,however,i,find,that,in,a,postmodern,sense,the,comma,becomes,just,a,break,between,words.if,i,were,to,bother,to,use,an,on,screen,keyboard,space....it,would,represent,a,pause

Reviews

[Laoidhigh Uilleag]

i,want,to,hate,you
it,hurt
that,you,made,me,smile
when,i,felt,like,killing,you


I can relate to most of this poem, but this verse stuck out... I feel this way every day when i face someone whose smiling makes me smile, but when i realize it I stop in my tracks. Thus I wanna kill him, but not literally. I want to kill him as a muse.

The rest of your poem is strong and it made me think... I read it two or three times, not out of confusion, but mostly out of understanding.
As for the a few of your other works, I must say you have a deepness in them and you're a strong writer/thinker. Keep on going.

[unspokenguilt]

Hmm,makes,me,want,to,write,like,this,and,it,kinda,makes,me,wanna,give,you,a,bandaid.

T _ T.
Remember that with time comes healing. Nicely done... I liked it!

[octane143]

i,dont,think,i,can,smile
i,tried,today,it,was,empty
and,it,made,my,soul,sad
it,hurt.

You almost made me cry! This one verse is haunting and touched me deeply. I saw myself in it and it hurt.