Runaway Purity

A little bit of fantasy. Yes, I realize that it doesn't really tell you what's going on but I think that it's sort of fun that way. What do you think?

The pond's tiny ripples are born all over the place, made by an unknown source. The pond is the ending point of a small babbling brook about thirty yards away. A woman lay before the tiny shore on the grass, hovering her fingertips after every ghost ripple, not wanting to submerge her whole hand. Her light bloody-wheat colored hair curls over her shoulders and reaches for the water as well. The woman's face is very serene; not happy but there's not a trace of sorrow either. Her pale and freckled complexion mirrors back at her vaguely through the water, creating a heavenly laugh to slip through her lips as she stares at the reflection's eyes.

There's a slight atmosphere of being watched. Not an overpowering sinister feeling, for the woman can barely detect it above her attention. But still with the potential of grabbing her. When a ruffling of a near by vein bush suddenly alerts the woman a little more. She feels her ears prick like a horse's at the noise but she continues to play with the surface of the pond with the tips of her finger. 

To distract the growing apprehension from the noise behind the bush, she concentrates on her floating reflection. She watches as she points her index finger over the water's edge and hovers it over. She can see the chubby bulge of the finger kiss its look-alike under the water, flesh to liquid.

Nothing moves, nothing stirs.

The woman releases her finger from the kiss and a ripple begins its journey through the water. Tiny drops fall slowly from her finger, almost defying gravity, and absorbs back into the water, creating yet another bigger and faster ripple. A throaty giggle vibrates inside the base of her neck as she watches this; a small smile spreading over her pale pink lips.

For the first time in many minutes she looks up from the entrance to the watery world and forward at the same watching bush. She squints her eyes at it and stares suspiciously. It hasn't moved or tustled for awhile now, however, it still gives off the disturbing air it had from the beginning.

She stands slowly from her laying postion. Grass stains smeared over the front of her long white dress, the worst of them over her belly up to her bosom. Her barefeet are tickled by the blade of grass, but she ignores them and stares stilly at the bush. Before the bush can make another threatening noise, she takes a slow step into the pond. It's colder than she realized but she has to hurry. The water floats and pools around her. From her knees, thighs, waist, chest, when finally her golden red hair is fully submerged. Her cheeks puff as she peers up to the crystal surface she once played with.

The woman feels the vibration, even under this water blanket, of the thick black boots that walk slowly by the edge of the shore, pauses, and when the woman's lungs are just about to burst the boots disappear. She waits a mere second before she splashes the water realm's seal. She doesn't get out, but wades there in the deep water, watching the trail that the heavy boots made and had vanished.

Author's Note

Not really edited, sorry for grammar or word issues.

Reviews

[Raef C. Boylan]

Yes, I agree that not knowing exactly what's going on here is fun. Instead of anticipating twists and turns, we are made to concentrate on the here and now - which means the writer is obliged to pay extra attention to detail, imagery, language etc. [and you have].

I think this might be a piece to come back to and edit at a later date, in terms of wording; I've provided a couple of typo corrections below. Sometimes it takes a bit of distance between the writer and their work in order for them to be critical of the ways they've expressed things and stuff like that.

Overall, good work.

"of a small babbeling brook" [babbling]
"She [a]quints her eyes at it and stares" [s?]
"[t]he takes a slow step into the pond" [s?]
"feels the vibration, even under this water blanket[,] of the thick black boots"