The Thrilling Prospects of Armageddon

Addressing the paranoia surrounding 2012.

It has been said that every generation expects theirs to be the last, but perhaps the youngest generation alive now will finally see this grandiose fantasy come true...

When the atomic bomb first made its debut, the end seemed distressingly near to all those cynical about mankind’s shrewdness, yet nuclear winter has still not frosted the globe. Y2K was hyped up to be the absolute downfall of our only recently computer-based society, but that too has come and gone without even a minor inconvenience. Evangelical christians have been putting exact dates and sometimes even times on the end of all we know; and somehow, being wrong every time has not weakened their enthusiasm at all.

With 2012 steadily approaching, we must begin to wonder: have we simply not learned our lesson or is this apocalypse the real thing? Have we not noticed the negative effects of convincing all those vulnerable enough that the end is upon us? Has the Mayan calendar’s dooming end date sealed the deal for all our skeptics? If not, then what about Nostrodaumus’ and the Bible’s coinciding prophecies?

While we can all assume that this side-show has to end sometime, those who have lived through at least one prophetic failure will likely remain unconvinced until December 25th 2012. What about those who are willing to believe whatever they’re told?

“The History Channel” dedicated a whole week of programming to the 2012 prophecy, boldly calling it “Armageddon Week” as if it were no more serious than their largely popular “Shark Week”. Innumerable “YouTube” videos have laid out many different theories as to the cause and result of our coming apocalypse. Most job-holding adults brush these things off simply because they have more pressing matters to tend to, but what about the kids?

All children within close reach of computers or television, have unlimited access to all the doomsday prophecy they can stand. Is this what we want for our children? It seems brutally obvious that a notion of impending doom will very effectively breed an all encompassing sense of apathy that could indeed manifest these gloomy predictions. The usual urgency that drives our American way of life is seriously threatened by hordes of unmotivated, uncaring children, but, even more worrisome, is the rest of the vulnerable minds who are accepting the end of the world: the flocks of all our major religions.

Those who are up-to-date on their holy books know full well how crucial armageddon is to varying religious doctrines. The climax of said literature always seems to be the same: those who followed the rules get their great rewards as soon as God’s wrath has been evenly distributed throughout the evil multitudes which seem to run the planet. This would all be regarded as laughable science-fiction to the atheists and the pious would remain committed simply because their chance at ever-lasting life was resting on it, but in our time prophecy has been hitting a little closer to home.

Real world events have been cleverly woven into biblical prophecy by those who are trusted with the peculiar job of interpreting it. War in the cradle of civilization is an agreed upon sign of the end for many creeds, and Lord knows we’ve got plenty of that! Also, fundamentalist christians believe that the end will not come until Israel has won back their holy land. How ironic! That very epic real estate battle is bludgeoning it’s way into our headlines almost everyday! What’s most distressing about this whole mess is that the same folks who are interpreting the holy books and finding their own upside to this morbid conundrum are the ones waging the aforementioned wars. The evangelicals who stood so steadfast behind Israel in their conflict with Palestinians did after all have some ulterior motive. They made their moves with the knowledge that Jesus wasn’t swinging back around to pick them up until Israel got what God had promised them so long ago.

With all these unsettling predictions converging on our time and those who believe them acting accordingly, the term “self-fulfilling prophecy” has taken on great importance. If we put our trust in the Mayan calendar, then we’ve simply run out of time, to which we can only sigh and mutter in unison that “We had a good run”. On the other hand, these religious nuts might just be taking us down with them, convinced that on the other side of brutal fighting and hatred amongst mankind there will be salvation for all who deserve it. Atheist or extremist, we should all just pray that mankind will not go out on such foolish and ignorant terms. We all know the end will come eventually, but in case anybody’s watching let’s try and bow out gracefully.