Dark Star

What happens over the resting place of a little girl.

Dead, stricken, lain in the ground,

To bear witness to the sins and atrocities above.

A single rose, lain across your chest,

A blood red star in the dusky darkness.

 

Your soul cries out, and seeks for peace

In darkness, but in vain.

Over the rattle of guns, they do not hear

Your silent call, only their fear.

 

Once friends, firing at one another.

A younger sister falls to a loving brother.

As dark red petals spread across her life,

She collapses upon your little grave.

 

Dead, stricken, fallen to the ground

With eyes turned to the atrocities above.

Rose of blood blossoms at her breast,

A terrible star in the frightful darkness.

Author's Note

I'm prepared to take critique, yes. Rip it to pieces if you must!

Reviews

[Fabric Pulse]

Is it correct to assume this poem is about identity in-between the lines? The way you chose as style is very up front and wonderfully connected to your readers.

[r]

Holy freaking shiz! I think I died a little inside at how damn awesome this is! Pffft! Rip it to pieces?! I don't think so! I'm not good at critique anyway, but, in my amazing opinion, there is no need for critiquing on this poem! Hell, I'm freaking exhilarated 'cause you FINALLY POSTED SOMETHING. It's been MONTHS since I've seen anything written from you! You have officially made my day. ^^

Anywhooo, this is dark and sorrowful [I coulda just said 'sad' o.O] and I love it. The imagery is breathtaking, how you can word it so you are showing poetically rather than just telling. LoveloveloveLOVE this poem. Now you need to just write a million more! :D