Left in Ashes

Sometimes revenge just hurts sooooo good.

I watch your world burn with a smile on my face,

The way that I can see it hurt brings me to that place,

Where you wrecked my world and saw it put to dust,

All that I ever knew was shorn and frought with rust.

 

Now your grandchildren suffer for your sins,

Your children dead with lifeless blood-drenched spins,

Of a knife of steel, their crimson life is flowing,

Their heartbeat and awareness soflty slowing.

 

Your world is wrecked you greedy hounds,

A cry of vengence, shaking earth, resounds,

After watching your seed die for their parent's fault,

The fruit of your loins now sewn with salt.

 

Your last moments bely your bloodline's end,

Too much deceit your mouths did lend,

You should have given what was rightfully mine,

No you've had to pay a greater fine.

 

A memory now of your heinous squeal,

Your dead and gone and no longer feel,

Left in ashes, your dynasty is done,

A protracted battle, I've finally won.

 

Author's Note

I threw rhythm out. I don't normally do that, but I wanted to see what I could do within a five minute time limit. So you can rap my knuckles with a ruler if you like.

Reviews

[Celeste21]

I would really like to know what this was based off of.. On a different note, it has an Edgar Allan Poe feel to it. Morbidly alarming but beautiful. A lot of your poetry is very rhythmic. Nice to read out loud.

Beautiful, but also laced with pretty hard feelings.
GREAT use of imagery and an excellent amount of detail, as well.
This is fine just the way it is.
You're also another VERY talented writer.
Overall, this was very nice.
Good job.

[Heather D]

Beautiful and blood-chilling at the same time! Very visual. I was captivated by this because not only is it lovely writing, but it gave me goosebumps as I felt you successfully achieve your revenge! Great write :)

[Ray Nichols]

i liked it and i felt a rhythm. Video game?

[:)]

I must say this made me cringe lol.

It sounds like revenge was taken with a smile that's for sure...

lol BAM!

[EmpressPoetess]

I find that content is more emotive and sound than any rhyme scheme. I just hope the revenge stopped on your pages and that it flees your heart. Very good writing, very expressive!