Drowning sorrows in the bottom of a bottle trying to tell yourself that you are fine and putting on a happy face for the world around you as the wall to the castle crumble, falling into a million tiny pieces. The past can be a haunting place in which to live. It is good to look back and smile but to actually try to live is there is a whole different story. Love this write.
This is sad...the remnants of love, of a kiss, is lost. Anyone who has had their heartbroken can truly connect with this piece...This is Beautifully written, showcasing the romantic side of a Poet's heartache. Eloquent write!
Such a depth that goes beyond, releasing it beauty upon the reader. Your passion exudes from this piece as the emotional sorrow grasps, tugs at the strings of human hearts.
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
What I love about your poetry is, that it's filled with triple meaning, and triple or more ways to think about it twice... amazing. I read and read over again to top notch the essence, and I am still in awe... I can only feel your past-presence andit's hard, but since thebeginning of this year you wrote it, I might think now, things could have changed... if not, then it's still beautiful, as the atmosphere dances around the thoughts... captivating, relevant, and poignant. High score!
Tommy, I just can't get over how cool it would of been to have you as a runner in Rome, cuz you don't look like the jealous type. So what happened to the write? Comon Tom, my a*s writes better than that on my black boxers, and thats after two weeks of not eating. What you need from me? Just stop staring at me like that. Next time when you combine a thought remember how far in the future you are at that moment. I think it is atleast cold in Utah right? So I would of said something like
Cold Utah days,
Without Gillette raizor blades,
another twinky,
for my asian cousin kinky,
more time to waist
because my mouth is tired to taste
honeys and bees
are neither my companions or friends
I am Tommy from Utah
and you are my cheekbone's chest
'...lost in a daze, daydreams of yesterday's savor...' these are beautiful lines...i can relate to them. it's so hard to let go of the past, except yesterday's savor brings back painful memories. touching poem.
that hits the pit of my stomach with such beautiful refrain, your words are like honey coated heartache woven together in such delicate and subtle phrasing..bravo..stunning
Your words flow and cool the spirit like silken milk against the palate. I will never gaze at a bluebird in the same manner. His plumes bathed in melancholy. And your wording... Oh your sweet wording makes my lips pucker with delight. Saccharine lines I wish to hold on my tongue: "destined to convince the cracked concrete your sad eye are hiding happiness" "daydreams of yesterday's savor". Candy in the form of creativity. A pungent powerful write that we are not worthy of.
The overall effect of ti spoem is of course sadness, melancholia, there-but-for-grace, but to achieve this the poet has to choose the images, the words, the rhythms; and that is all done perfectly hear. The last vestiges of a romantic heart lie in the protagonist summoning up of the bluebird and its song and the contrast is devastating.
Best yet.
ATB
Alex.
'And yet, the hundred proof’s grown old
to the buds of your mouth. A blossom withered
to the loss of quench.'
This is heart-breaking but i was drawn in by the poetry, the sad essences that permeate, the terrible reality of a hardened heart, the frailty of vision. i loved the empathy the writer shows towards her, the understanding that is so deep the two souls meld together. Quite brilliant!