"Seen"

Inspired by Ed Hart's piece "terra cognito" http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/edhart7/683387/

 

While God was creating beauty,

He plucked a rib from Adam's chest,

and conceived the beating heart of Eve.

Women inherit this from their mother,

and bless us mere men with its passion,

making everything brighter

in eyes that hold dear the sight

of love found in the gaze of a women.

It makes me long

to be seen...

 

2011 © T.G. Hopkins III

Reviews

[Quinn Blackburn]

oh wow, splendid wordcrafting! that closing thought is one that people can relate to universally, longing to be seen. In fact, some of us get lost in the masks we wear for others, and forget who we are! Every line here has impact for me, a wonderful work!

[Erinne S.]

This was a great piece! I enjoyed the simplicity of it and the appreciation of the woman as a being.

Great write!

[Samuel Dickens]

They wield awesome power with that gaze, don't they? Such fine thoughts you express. (The painting is beautiful!)

[patricia]

yes..our mothers gaze certainly sets the future scene...you captured the need for validation perfectly here. Thankyou..at least that's how this haiku seemed to me.

[Akshat♥]

wow..this so amazing write ..
super liked...
this poem is so moving..creative:)

[Angela]

Achingly beautiful! Last two lines, summon it up wonderfully

[Kerry O'Connor]

Not many men are able to voice their appreciation of women so openly and sincerely. I'm sure many women see this in you.

[OT]

oh I love this!! I see the inspiration from Ed's wonderful piece!! you've captured the essence perfectly, the rib to be equal!! very nice!!

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

what a beautiful offering you have created here~work of a heart that knows itself and thus can ink the calligraphy of pure honest expression~

[Ed Hart]

amen, beautifully done