"Widdershins Helix" ( Collaboration with Renee {MuSe AmpouLe} )

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

stone snail-shell births dull condemnations,

twisting thoughts of willed sub-consciousness

peeking outbound through celestial eyes,

forcing feet counterclockwise in route

spiraling inwards towards long descent.

 

genes conduct the flow for advancement's

endurance of life, man’s symphony,

no, humanity dies inhumane

trading in withershins directions,

the Son fades blue in darkness eclipsed.

 

in each ebb and flow, have we so peaked?

retrograde search for splendid bliss, leads

this cold, calculated, and cunning

meticulously predestined fate,

of superseded nostalgic traits.

 

through sky-fire sight we unwind our paths;

shameful acts tilt down before us, while

imminent vertigo shakes our steps,

an’ we scramble to climb against age;

ancestor's shortsightedness slay us.

 

 evolution slows, exhausted climb,

and ruptured aping has been out paced,

shamed by the sight of ill-perceptions;

at this clouded suffocating height,

naught is earned, no naissance for knowledge.

 

imbued in dreams are hopeless struggles

grains of sand infiltrate helix fields,

while the hourglass pitches downwards;

can the years sustain this failed grasp need

for a butterfly effected change?

 

shot in flight at horizon summit,

the pure dove falls twirling out of rein;

compassion shrieks sorrow in lament

of love for lust in hopes to ensure

that death feeds life to spawn survival.

 

with no guarantees for certainty

in reality of direction,

seductive past cries repetition,

as the future winds down within

this staged epoch Tower of Babel.

 

 

2011 © T.G. Hopkins III

©2011 R. Renée Vickers

2nd Place-Opening Act in "Hair Of The Dog On Tap #4 challenge" 

 

Author's Note

Special thanks to Renee; It was an honor and pleasure working with you!
Show her some love on her page:
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/ginokami/683654/

Reviews

[Angela]

It does seem as though we are headed for a tower of Babel moment." Humanity dies inhumane", what a blistering truth. "Ancestor's shortsightedness slay us". How exceedingly true, God help me That I haven't done this to mine own. "Shameful act tilt before us". ashamed and forlorn we should be. The most devastating line? "The pure dove falls out of reign". Lord, forgive us our shortsightedness and our fallibility. May we always remember you are there until we shove you away." Love for lust", If we only understood. Absolutely heart wrenching. may we hold the truth close to our hearts. Thank you, you two.

[cartera]

What a wonderful old Scots word is 'withershins', and what a wonderful metaphor:mankind going the wrong way down to hell in handcart.
Death does feed new life, but is the new life spawned as 'good' as the old one? For what is lost with the death of one epoch is not usually fully recovered by the next generation.
Great stuff.
Alex.

[Ruth]

Guess you already know how I feel about this work LOL Awesome love, brilliant work, a collab that rocked I would say! xx

[Sheila Kline]

Thoughts to accept and ponder as we contemplate the past and future of mankind! Is all but a tiny speck in the realm of reality? What part does man play in determining our present state of affairs?

Two writers come together and interweave thoughts to produce a most thought provoking piece!

Thank you for bringing to readers such a wonderful grouping of concepts, and happenings!...Is all merely a staged epoch Tower of Babel?

[The Analog Kid]

The paradox of humanity's progress. This is the ebb and flow. Can we stop this or is it as sure as the sun will set? Nice job you two.

[Karina Longo]

All I can say is: honestly, is one of the best poems I've seen around here. So powerful.

[Dilan Gray]

I love the line "an’ we scramble to climb against age;" I love the images it brought to my head. Great poem!

[TAO]

I reviewed this on MuSe's page... I'll tell you, Tommy, this poem leaves me hungry to discover. I liken it to a dream (as surrealism always is), and the influx of...ideologies...insights, that abound, it's like what I'd imagine being washed in the tears of gods would be...

Nicely done.

[Kerry O'Connor]

I like the DNA helix references you guys went with - really cool interpretation of the picture.

Such BIG and GRAND imagery...
imbued in dreams are hopeless struggles
grains of sand infiltrate helix fields,
while the hourglass pitches downwards;
can the years sustain this failed grasp need
for a butterfly effected change?

[SpitfireGrrrl]

Wow. This was outstanding.

[Rossen]

wonderful weave , good work great poem to both