He Wrote Back

To the one real loe

He Wrote Back

After a long time,
he wrote back.
Reading the letters,
tears wouldn’t stop falling�"
cascades of pain,
to desire someone,
to ache in silence.

He told me why
he left without a word�"
his reasons,
fair and legitimate�"
but still,
my pain lingers,
a thought that never fades.

To think it was love
that tore us apart�"
love,
a quiet force,
his suffocating in worry for me,
mine,
suffocated by the thought
of life without him.

Author's Note

A goodbye in tears

Reviews

[Davidgeo]

Never take reviews from Jay G seriously. He's a creepy old dude who pays to self publish awful, terrible "stories" so he can pretend to be a "published writer" and use that as a "credential". I've noticed that he's getting more aggressive as he sundowns, I think people should know what's really behind those long rambling wannabe authoritative "reviews" he leaves. He's about as knowledgeable and educated as a 2012 wikipedia page.

[JayG]

So...someone we know nothing about wrote something we never got to read, to someone unknown.

I have to ask, what's in it for the reader? Poetry isn't us talking about ourselves, and what matters to us. No one cares. Readers come to be entertained by being made to feel and care, not know how the writer's day is going. Did you come here hoping I'd tell you what's important to me? Of course not.

Nonfiction tells the reader that we cried at a funeral. Poetry? We give the READER reason to weep.

But...in your school days the only approach to writing you were given was to talk TO the reader. Why? Because that's how reports, letters, and the other nonfiction applications that employers need from us are written. And the purpose of school is to ready us for the needs of adult life. Professional knowledge is acquired in addition to that.

Nonfiction is fact-based, author-centric, and as emotional as a weather report. Poetry and fiction, on the other hand, are emotion-based and character-centric. We pull the reader in emotionally and make them care.

Remember, they offer degree programs in poetry-related fields. And in those courses they teach how to avoid the screwups that people have been making when writing poetry for centuries.

We can learn those skills via self-study, but...fail to acquire the benefit of that knowledge and you'll be making the same mistakes.

Mostly, they're things that once pointed out make you say, "How did not notice that?" But still, till they are pointed out, you won't.

So, try this: Mary Oliver's, A Poetry Handbook is an excellent first book, and is filled with gems and surprises. So, try a few chapters for fit:
https://dokumen.pub/a-poetry-handbook-0156724006.html

Jay Greenstein
Articles: https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/
Videos: https://www.youtube.com/@jaygreenstein3334

[Davidgeo]

Just because you are sun-downing doesn't mean it's okay to bully new writers with cliched bs. Seek therapy Jay. There is help out there, you just have to take that first step. You can do it Jay, I believe in you.

[JayG]

You make the mistake of thinking that I'm giving my views on how to write poertry. I'm not. What I said is what you would hear had you turned this in for an assignment in any class on poetry basics.

It's not a matter of how well you write, or talent. It's that you've looked into none of the skills of the poet. And that matters, because they've been refining those skills for centuries. More to the point, they've been finding ways to avoid making mistakes for that long. Dig into them and you stand on the shoulders of giants. Skip that step and you're condemned to make the beginner's mistakes.

At the moment, I've been writing for over forty years. I have 29 novels on Amazon. My poetry here gets multiple pages of supportive comments.

I've sold fiction in long and short form, plus poetry, and nonfiction. I've taught writing at workshops, and am one of the top reviewers on this site.

Someone you don't know took time they didn't have to give you, to help you become more skilled at writing. At worst, the professional thing to do, even if you disagree with what was said, is to say thank you and turn away, Because all the complaining you may do improves your work not at all.

They offer degree programs in poetry-related subjects in universities. Cerainly, you can acquire those skills via self study, and with the help of constructive critiques like mine. But without acquiring those skills you'll remain in the training wheel level of poetry. And you deserve better than that.

So...when the steam stops drifting from your ears, take a deep breath, and then try a few chapters of Mary's book. You'll be surprised at how much easier it gets once you acquire a bit of skill.

[Davidgeo]

You're the only one making mistakes here my dude. You should seek professional therapy, you'll feel better.

[Thoiba]

Thank you for your feedback. I understand the importance of connecting with the reader, and I value your perspective on what readers expect from poetry. For me, poetry is deeply personal and a reflection of my own experiences, thoughts, and emotions. I believe that art, in its essence, should always have a part of the artist within it.

While I appreciate that readers come to poetry for an emotional connection, I also feel that it’s essential for my work to remain a space where I can express myself authentically. It’s a delicate balance, and I’m continuously exploring how to make my work resonate with others while staying true to my own voice.

I’ll definitely keep in mind the need for readers to connect with the piece and consider how I can create that balance in my future writing.

Thank you again for taking the time to share your thoughts.