It All Made Sense

About re-evaluating everything you know. And when everything finally makes sense.

It All Made Sense

I had deceived myself
Thinking I was in love with one
This deep, powerful attraction
I felt towards her
I told her how I felt
She loved me in the same ambiguous way too
But we could not go forward
And eventually she found another
But in that one moment

In that one moment when she told me
I peered deep into my soul
Nothing had ever seemed quite right about it all
I felt differently towards her 
And eventually I realized 
I found my sister

My sister not of blood
Not of the same mother
Nor father, but of spirit
The other
Where I had found a true companion
And it all made sense
Why I had felt so weird
Why it had felt so weird
All along it was not the same
She was my sister, not my lover
I had been confused

And as I looked back through my memories
Through my endless sea of emotions
I saw something else there
Another person
This feeling…..I had shut it away
Repressed it to the point where
I did not know it existed
With that other person

For months before I had 
had my affections upon her 
We had even shared moments
Under the blossoming crab apple tree
I had wanted to, the words were on my lips
But in the end I told myself it was too soon
I was defeated by my own fear

Eventually I convinced myself
No one had loved me and I could love no one
And then the person appeared
We had found a medium
Which allowed us complete secrecy
And eventually I told her my feelings
So entranced I had been by her, 
For these feelings were different from those I had had before
But then I realized it all
This person
Was my sister
Not of blood or flesh 
Nor mother nor father
But of emotion and spirit
It all made sense

With these thoughts in my head
I dived into the sea of old memories
And aged emotions
And realized
I had never truly stopped loving that one
The one who came before
I had simply been fooling myself
It all made sense

Oh had I only had the courage back then
To tell her of my feelings
And with my sister by my side
I shall show her, the person whom I truly love
How I feel.