Succumbing

Another addition to my trilogy that started with Flames of Hatred (Wow this is getting long!)

Succumbing

Here I lie under the sun

Majestic golden orb of light

Life-giving, earth-shattering, beautiful

And yet I am succumbing

I’ve been given wealth

I have all the possessions I could ever need

I live neither in poverty, nor hunger

And yet I am succumbing

I look upon all of them around me

The blinded, shuffling masses

Going about their lives

And yet I am succumbing

I have endured the Flames of Hatred

I have disintegrated into nothingness and resurrected myself

I have broken out of the ice of indifference

And yet I am succumbing

And what did I succumb to?

Complacency, self-assurance, arrogance

Overvaluing myself and what I thought I knew

When really I knew nothing

And now I look back upon those times

I could have made all the difference

Fallen not into false hopes

But to see the truth

If I could have been happy

And not succumbed

To hubris, to overvaluation

Pretending I was a hero

Complacency

Laziness

I refuse to make an effort

Thinking that if I just waited

It would all work out in my favour

And yet…if only I could have waited

At the crucial moment

And spared them so much pain

And now I am succumbing

Passing it on to all who surround me

Run, run while you can

My rotting corpse is a death trap

If only I could have stopped myself

I would not be succumbing

I would not be dying

And killing all those who surround me

Bringing them down with me

Why, why did I have to do this?

If only I could have stopped…..

I would not have succumbed

I would not be succumbing

I have survived all else…

I have endured the Flames of Hatred

I have disintegrated into nothingness and resurrected myself

I have broken out of the ice of indifference

And yet I am succumbing

Why now? Why ever?

I cannot bring them down with me

I refuse to bring them down with me