Chapter 1 "fAME"

Its pretty good so far

 

1

 

 

Chapter 1

Fame

 

 

It was one o'clock Friday May 15^th , and today I turn seventeen years old. I'm in the middle of making a movie called “The Love of Justin Martins Life” and I play Justin's “love” Jessica. My real name is America. America Rose is my full name. It was intermission right now so we have about an hour to just hang around. Max, Emily, Nikki, and Kate, are my co-stars. So far, out of the six or seven movies' I have done so far in my career, Max, Emily, Nikki, and Kate, are my favorite cast mates I've had so far. I guess its probably because we are all about the same age.

 

“So America, what has been going on with you and your new bf Zack?” Max asked, in a girly mocking tone. “Well, everything is going so good so far.” I said, mocking him in a boyish tone. We all laughed. “Oh, America, don't forget, tonight Emily, Nikki, you, and I, are going to the movies to see, “The Sunset Romance” for your birthday.” Kate said. “I won't.”

 

It was strangely cold for May. I guess I'm just used to Los Angeles, California. And it doesn't help that we are in Dayton, Ohio. Dayton is small, yet big in someways. Its small because I live in Los Angeles, California. And big because except, for Columbus, Cleveland and Dayton are the biggest city's in Ohio that I can think of at the moment. I only know what I know about Ohio, is because, I lived here from the ages of eleven to thirteen. I have been all over Ohio. I was born in Nashville, Tennessee and I lived there until I was eleven. Tennessee is my favorite state.

 

“Back to the stage everyone.” Called our director, Mr. Smith.

 

We were doing the kissing scene. I don't mind kissing Max, who plays Justin, because, he is kind of cute and I've done other kissing scenes with him in another movie we did together called, “A Small World” and I have to admit, he is a pretty good kisser.

 

We got in position. “Action,” Mr. Smith called.

 

“You know, your not so bad.” My character Jessica said.

“Your not so bad your self.” Maxes character, Justin said. I glanced over at the screen we look at for our lines. “Then come over here and show me how you feel for me.” My character said, leaning forward. “ Okay.”

 

 

 

After all the filming for the day was done, I worked out a schedule for tonight. I went to the hotel we were staying at in Xenia, Ohio. It was The Holiday Inn. I've stayed there quite a few times before because, my Aunt Kelly lives in Canada for her photography career and because her wife Judy lived there, so my Aunt Kelly moved there for Judy, and when they come down to visit and most of my family lives in Ohio, she would stay at The Holiday Inn and they would always try to get the biggest hotel room they could so, Nick, Adam, Shane, who are my closest cousins on my dads side, and I could all stay at once, but that rarely worked. That reminded me, tonight I needed to go to see my family here, I'm sure I could work out something. Actually I might go right now.

 

I went up to Emily and I's hotel room and I got freshened up. Put on different clothes and I wrote a note for Emily that said,

 

 

Emily,

 

I went to go see my family that I have in Ohio. I'll be back in enough time to get ready for the movie. I want to see my cousins Nick, Adam and Shane. Along with my Aunt Gina and everyone. If you need anything, call my cell and if I don't answer call (547)-389-5527 (My grandmas house) or (547)-625-2904 (my cousin Shane's cell) Call me if you get this know I know you got it. Thx. TTYL.

 

P.S. If you call one of the other numbers, just say 'I need to talk to America its ' whoever calls.

 

America

 

I left the note on the computer desk and I walked out of the hotel room with all I needed.

 

I had no trouble coming in the hotel, it was the going out that I had trouble with.

 

About fifteen fans asked me for my autograph. That's not even half of it. When I walked outside, I was buried in paparazzi. I let my body guard off for today. Security had to come out and calm them down. When I was able to get free, I hurried into my car and drove off.

 

When I was in the car, I turned on K99.1 FM. “Cowboy Casanova” by Carrie Underwood came on. I met her about a month ago. She was so nice.

 

I pulled up to my grandmas house. I tried not to make it to obvious, although, when I told them all about my new silver Porsche 911, won't make it any easier.

 

Author's Note

Im new at this

Reviews

[Bright Eyes]

I think this is a great start. There's a few trivial grammatical errors that I"m sure you'll notice with editing, but the main thing I was a bit confused about was your agreement between verb tenses.
For instance, "It was one o'clock Friday May 15th , and today I turn seventeen years old."
You start the sentence off with the past tense, but after the first clause, it was present tense. I could not tell if this was intentional or not.
The story itself seems like a great story. I think with a few more descriptive adjectives, it would be STELLAR. For being new at writing, this was GREAT, keep it up.

[.Bunnie.]

Well, okay, here we go!! :) Just a few suggestions.

Two very big things with writing a story: You HAVE to pick a certain tense that you're in, a certain point of view. I think you're going for more of a present-tense, so in this example:

"It was intermission right now so we have about an hour to just hang around. "

'Was', 'right now', and 'have' are different. I'd suggest changing it to "It's intermission right now and we have about an hour to hang around," or something like that.

Another very vital factor when writing is remembering that you only have a very tiny opening to catch the reader's attention. You have to give them something to make them say, "Oh wow I wonder what's gonna happen now that THAT happened!?" Hence, the conflict. It's super important to introduce the conflict--basically WHY you're even writing this story--into the very first chapter, if at all possible. Otherwise, what does the reader have to hold their interest and keep them flipping the pages instead of tossing the book to the side and grabbing a new one?

Those are just two extremely important things to remember. Another suggestion I would make is to add more detail, more events into the story. The way things currently are written, it's turning into be more of a journal entry by some female actor. Which, I suppose if that's what you wanted to go for that's fine and all, but I think adding more descriptions, more details, more events, as well as the conflict, it would make this more of a STORY being told, as opposed to just little things that happened during a girl's day that she is recalling or writing down.

But once again, all in all, I think you have a great idea for a story! :) And certainly if you're new at writing, it'll just take some practice. Practice makes perfect!! I've been writing since I was 13 years old but never went "public" with anything at all until...3 months ago? So I'm learning a LOT of new things from other writers, too!! It's amazing the insight you can get from others. A lady in my writer's club that I just recently joined pointed out the conflict bit to me. I had never really realized it, since the conflict is in my head so naturally I'M interested--I never really stopped to reverse the rolls from writer to reader on my own stuff with a blank, ignorant mind to the story itself that hasn't been written yet.

Anyhow, I look forward to reading more from you! :) Keep up the good job!

[deeps]

I really enjoyed this write. I love the big font I can see it.
This is very intersting and would love to read more of this.
Everything read well, and I found it an enjoyable read.