Sunday, August 21st 2011

A Chapter by Thirteen

Thoughts.

I'm very frustrated with my mother. I just got my computer that I paid for with my own money, and she's trying to put restrictions on it. I may live in her house, but I pay rents and have the right to my own things.

Callie (my cat) has a terrible yeast infection in her ear. I decided to peroxide it, but I think I got it too far in her ear, she cried for quite awhile and would not snuggle with me for like an hour after I cleaned her ears. This morning I woke up and I couldn't find her, I thought she was hiding from me because she was still mad. But no, she was in the yard playing in the tree, trying to catch birds. I wish she wanted to kill mice, there's a mouse in the house and Callie won't try to catch it.

I need a computer desk. My computer is on a $30 coffee table in my room, I'm sitting on my laundry basket for a chair. My back hurts terribly because of it. There's some ads on Craigslist for free computer desks, but I have no way to go pick one up.

Chris is still mad at me for falling asleep this morning. We were supposed to talk on the phone at 7 but I dozed of at like 5 or 6.

I have head lice still. I tried using olive oil, tea tree oil and even mayonnaise in my hair to get rid of them. They are still there. A bit ago I gave in and decided to use chemical lice shampoo, but I'm combing them out and they are still moving a bit. Nothing works, my lice are like they're on steroids or something. I think combing them out while they're weak like this will still help though. I should have never went camping with my friend, that's where I got the head lice. I should have known though, ever since she was little she has had head lice now and again.

I'm still fantasizing about having my own life away from my family. I'd have a German Shepard and quite a few cats. I either want a house or a studio apartment. I just don't like apartments with rooms because the rent is just the same as a house with just as many rooms. I am so pathetic though, thinking about having my own life when I don't even have a job. My mom wants me to go to college with my brother, which I am scheduled to do. I don't want to, but I think my mom would kick me out and everyone would be disappointed if I didn't. I don't care really if they are disappointed, but if they are disappointed then they'll try to guilt trip me and lecture me, which gets very annoying. I already know what I want to do, I've tried to tell people but they don't listen. I want to work at a pet store for a couple years and then go to body piercing school. I don't see why that idea is for people to ignore and shrug off when I mention it. It hurts to have your words be invisible. No matter how loud I talk, how direct I'm being, or how assertive I'm being, no one listens. Not even my friends. I don't want to go to college with my brother but it looks like that's what I'm going to be doing anyway, because if I don't I probably won't have a roof over my head!