If I Had Him

If I had him,

I wouldn’t have known the ache,
Of loneliness cradling my frame
The mirror in which I saw
the raw, naked face of my soul.

If I had him,
I wouldn’t be wandering deep within,
Prodding the bones of the past,
Seeking warmth where there was only cold,
Learning to speak the language of pain.

If I had him,
I wouldn’t be shattered and scattered,
To fall as shards on a page
Making it profusely bleed,
I wouldn't write a story that breathes
Art that looks to speak.

If I had him,
I wouldn’t have had the silence,
that suffocated me enough to scream
Letting my voice be born,
Shouting out my truth.

If I had him,
He'd have helped me heal.
With him, I'd have been whole,
But not vast, not boundless,
And burning with all that I am.

If I had Neil,
I wouldn’t have art.
I wouldn’t have fire.
I wouldn’t have me.

~~~~~

Reviews

[Dennis Wolf]

Sometimes, those blue armies on the page, neatly organized into lines of varying lengths and sizes... They convince us of their worth being great, perhaps greater than what inspired their formations. 🤔 It's sort of a paradox.. A creation that questions its fundamental subservience to its creator 🤔 kind of funny but also kind of tragic.

Without experiences, we have nothing to write about, nothing to express in any way, but also, without expression, without the capacity of expression, can we truly claim that our experience has been lived fully, could we claim that we were truly capable of fully appreciating that experience?

Wonderful write here.

[DIVYA]

Thank you very much Dennis. This piece just came out raw and lies here uncut. I didnt bother to edit it. It does the job of conveying what i intend, I guess. Written after I finished the first draft, this guy really got to me. Our minds can really blur the boundaries of reality and dreams.
Your review means a lot.

[Dennis Wolf]

No problem.
Yes, familiar feeling 😁 it's sweet intoxication and why the heck not? Life's short.
The only reason I think life is precious because it can't be measured objectively, but from the subjective experience, it's a finite, constantly depleting resource, therefore it's scarce.. In a way. And so it's precious. 🤔

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Sometimes love can bind us...but freed up we really get a chance to be ourselves and stay motivated to be the best individual we can be.
I really like the silence part..."suffocated me enough to scream" is quite powerful.

[DIVYA]

It feels wonderful that you related to the feelings expressed here. Thank you so much, my friend.