Giving Over to the Other Side

Just another short thing I wrote for fun. This one is about a girl loving a demon but she was an angel. She gave up her divinity to be with him since she loved him so much.

I was a demon

filled with darkness,

only touched

by your light.

 

You came to me

even though

you knew your angel wings

would turn another color.

 

White blond hair,

soft as feathery down,

was bound

to turn dark.

 

Eyes so green and gentle,

yet set with determination

turned themselves over

to the other side.

 

You gave up

your divinity

to be with me,

not once looking back.

 

Such light steps,

yet a far distance,

would be traveled

by an angel wearing black.

 

At the end,

with elegancy so effortless,

you took my hand

and smiled.

Author's Note

I would just like to know what you think of this and once again I would just like to get some feedback telling me if you liked it. I don't know if I'm very good at writing, but I do like to write.

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Good concept, but this could use a bit more vivid imagery. Also, don't forget you don't have to cap every line - take out just about every comma in this and the flow will be much smoother.

[Anon]

Thanks for the tips. I'll try to take them into account with any others I do and fix this up a bit.