Chapter Six- "Hey, f**k you."

Chapter 6

“Hey. F**k you.”

            The boys awoke almost simultaneously, or at least as far as their sleep-fogged minds could tell. They were all sore, each groaning as they stretched their stiff muscles in an attempt to restore some flexibility to their scathed bodies. One by one, each boy slowly cleared the deep black mist of unconsciousness from their vision and began recalling the previous night’s happenings.

            “So, all that really f*****g happened?” Arlo spoke as he sat up in the back seat.

            “If by ‘that’ you mean we nearly got bullet-fucked by what I really hope was not a small army, yes.” Asa replied with an undertone of grim sarcasm.

            “No, he was talking about the part where you rode that elephant with a couple of gorgeous naked women.” Odd interjected playfully, causing both boys to chuckle a little.

“So, what now?” Arlo asked after an extended pause.

“Well, for some reason we just got shot at by what I assume were mercenaries. If I were to hazard a guess as to why, I’d say it’s because they somehow know about that incident last night.” Odd replied.

“Well, let’s consider some things here. One, we have no clue who they were. Two, we have no clue what happened at McDonalds last night. Three, I am hungry as f**k. Four, we have no clue where those men are and if they’re still looking for us…” After a short pause, Asa added, “How in the name of s**t did we not actually get any FOOD at a fast FOOD joint?”

The other two boys looked at Asa, half-amused, and half-mystified concerning Asa’s sudden captivation with food over the fact that they were nearly killed.

“So, are you implying that we should go eat?” Arlo investigated.

“Well, I think it would be nice.” Asa responded, matter-of-factly.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to go out in public in this car. They obviously know to look for it.” Odd declared hesitantly.

“Uhh… Let’s steal a car?” Arlo said, with even greater hesitation.

The boys looked at one another for a moment, each silently realizing that they were actually about to do just that.

Ten minutes later, the boys were already set about destroying the car they had used as means of escape, just as a precaution in case somebody was to find it. Asa drove the car up to the edge of the drop-off, until it was nearly falling off into the water on its own. After a gentle exit, he walked to the back of the car, giving it one sarcastic kiss on the top of the trunk before saying, “Nice knowing ya, you piece of s**t.”

With that, he pushed it into the lake with a foot, where it sunk quite nicely.

“Wow. That must be deep. I didn’t actually think this would work.” Odd spoke bluntly.

***

“Holy f*****g s**t, are you kidding me?” Arlo cried out in a stressed whisper as the boys crouched behind a concrete barrier in the parking lot to what they now knew was a water treatment facility which they had passed last night. Asa and Odd were both staring past the edge of the barrier at a specific car while Arlo continued lamenting about how terrible the idea, which they were currently engaging in, was.

Generally speaking, stealing a car is both a complex and dangerous task, all three boys knew this, but what had Arlo particularly exasperated was they boys’ choice of target car, for while Arlo made continued attempts to talk sense into Odd and Asa, it simply did not phase them. This was because the boys were much more engaged in staring at a very expensive-looking black Camaro with red trim.

“IS THERE ANY WAY IN THE NAME OF F**K-A-DOODLE-DOO THAT WE CAN GO STEAL A MUCH MORE SENSIBLE CAR?” Arlo uttered in the loudest voice he dared, while grabbing Odd and Asa’s shoulders and shaking them.

“Dude, do you even have a penis?” Asa said calmly, turning around as he asked Arlo in a sarcastic tone.

After that, Arlo was silent.

Odd stared at the car silently while Asa suggested ways to break in to the car.

“So, maybe we could get a piece of metal, and wedge it in the door and- ODD, WHAT THE F**K ARE YOU DOING?!” Asa yelled in surprise. Odd was already halfway across the parking lot, headed directly for the car. Once he arrived, he very casually grabbed the handle, and opened the door.

“Hey, it’s open!” He called back to the boys.

Arlo looked at Asa, who shrugged in a gesture of, “well, might as well,” before both walked to where Odd was standing, who promptly sidestepped and gestured for Asa to get in.

“Right this way, driver.” Odd said with a smirk, which Asa replied to with a playful punch to Odd’s left shoulder. Asa took a seat and reached below the steering wheel, attempting to pry the cover off the steering column, which was necessary to hot-wire the car. After a few minutes of struggling on Asa’s part, Odd reached over from the passenger’s seat, and ripped the plate directly off of the column, causing Arlo to giggle from the back seat.

“Hey f**k you, he has a goddamn super-power.” Asa said to Arlo.

“Actually, I have no clue how to make it happen again.” Odd interjected.

“Hey. F**k you,” Asa replied.

Turns out, Camaros are surprisingly easy to hot-wire.