Culmination

A means to futility

Culmination

Days away

till the venom

till the poison

kicks in

I was a re-claimer

to fight the goth

till then

till now I live the curse

I sought to destroy

and now in enigma

pealing face after face

off my countenance

to leave scars bare

And in the dust

where I cast my efforts

I claim the futility

all alone inside.

Me the faceless,

I the pointless

As rains turn to floods

Only days away

to the culmination

till then 

till now

when you will hate me too

Reviews

[Shaylynn H.]

I made this review template so that I could easily and efficiently give feedback to other writer's, since there's so many pieces and so little time in the day (or so I'm told) here you go. Feel free to add me and ask for reviews!

Box 1=Awesome | Box 2 =Okay | Box 3 =Could Use Work | Box 4 =No So Great |

Flow: [ ] [ x] [ ] [ ]

Spelling: [x ] [ ] [ ] [ ]

Grammar: [ ] [x ] [ ] [ ]

Formatting: [ ] [ ] [ x] [ ]

Plot: [x ] [ ] [ ] [ ]

Consistency: [x] [ ] [ ] [ ]

Characters: [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ]

Mood: [x ] [ ] [ ] [ ]

Imagery: [ ] [ x] [ ] [ ]

Setting: [ ] [x ] [ ] [ ]

Creativity: [ x ] [ ] [ ] [ ]

Theme: [ ] [x ] [ ] [ ]

Not Applicable may be chosen if it's a poem and not a short story, or if the category is not to my liking for personal reasons. If this is chosen I will simply leave the answer blank. I will try to be as unbiased as possibly when reviewing your work and try to keep it to the "normal" standards when reading a piece. I am reading this more as a person with an interest in reading than a person in writing. Some times though my grammatical sense will pop up ahead of my enjoyment. I encourage every one I meet to keep writing, even if it doesn't go anywhere I find it very important to pursue fiction as a means of life. This is solely based on my opinion but I will try to give advice to the best of my ability/knowledge. Good luck writing!


Additional Comments: It's pretty good.

[Deron Alexis]

a pretty good from you is cool for me you're really good at this stuff thanx for the honesty I appreciate one who shares their true feelings

[Shaylynn H.]

Thank you. I try to be as constructive as possible.

[Ravyne Hawke]

Love the imagery and flow of this poem. Just one stumbling block:

pealing = the ringing of a set of bells
peeling = that which is peeled from something

I am pretty sure you meant the latter and not the former. Good poem. Dealing with depression is hard and you never know exactly who you are from episode to episode.

[Deron Alexis]

True thanks for understanding and i'll get to fixing the typos

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy..]

amazing :) keep up the good work

[Felecia]

Very nice, enjoyed reading it. Don't think it hit me like poems usually do...(no offence) not sure I really understood it, but it's probably just me XD Anyway, I liked it a lot, it's very good. Thanks for sharing

[Deron Alexis]

basically its about becoming something you did not want to be like trying hard not to go crazy but failing at it

[The Dreamer]

"pealing face after face
off my countenance
to leave scars bare" - wow, good one.

[Deron Alexis]

thanx really it was nothing that one just came to me

[Fiona Nadine]

this is great. you're a great writer!

[Deron Alexis]

thanx I appreciate that from you especially

[Fiona Nadine]

you are welcome and thanks :)

[Damien Davison]

Nice write, dark and captivating. I enjoyed it.
"Me the faceless,
I the pointless"
Well done!

[Deron Alexis]

thanx dude didn't think anyone would get it