Set Me Free

I stand on the shallow depths of the shore

Looking out across the waters surface

My eyes sting and burn as it's you I cry for

My tears fall deep to the oceans floor

I watch as the sun streams down like molten lava on a volcano's side

Wondering what our love could've been

If we could've just put aside our pride

What if we were able to see the light within

I take in the air that is brisk with a touch of salt

Hoping to find closure from within myself

The lingering question of who was at fault

I fall to my knees on top the beaches sand

It is warm at first touch

A sense of how our love began and how easy it was to understand

Honest, pure, intense, but then not as much

The built up animosity came out instead of being discarded

Words were said

Feelings disregarded

Tears were shed

Not my proudest moment

I'm sorry if I caused you any pain

But it's not as you were any more pleasent

Neither of us did not abstain

Now I sit here on the beach alone

Tears leaving trails of dispair

The future of our love a mystery something of the unknown

My heart breaking and far from repair

I want to cry out

Come back to me

Kiss me the way that gives me goosebumps throughout

Come save me and set me free

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Jmartins]

Awww!!! I love this one..

[Micco Gibson]

Good imagery, and I could feel the deep feelings coming from this piece. Good rhyming scheme, every other line. I enjoyed reading this, good job. Keep writing.

[.Bunnie.]

Aww, sweet and sad at the same time. Definitely an enjoyable write!

Only thing I noticed was this line:

"Neither of us did not abstain"

Abstain means to hold back. To NOT abstain means you DIDN'T hold back, that you said/did whatever you wanted. This is what both of the people in this poem did.

Other than that, great job!!

[Magdelena]

Oh how I feel this and know it well! You brought forth something that many of us have gone through at one time in our lives.. Nicely penned. Imagery just perfect. I felt the emotions coming through.. That's what makes a great write from a good write. And this was a great write!


Mag xx

[Lizanne]

A full poetic disclosure on what goes wrong in a relationship and how the overwhelming regrets and what-ifs set in on us. You did a job with this and it is a piece that many will be able to say "I know your pain".
Catches the reader from beginning to end. Keep the ink from that creative pen flowing.