The Gentian Conspiracy- Chapter One

The plot thickens, as the story is taken forward Eighteen Years.

 

 

 

 

EIGHTEEN YEARS LATER

 

                                 One

Wind whistled around the White Jewel, whist enclosed in a frame of dark cypresses, its white marble dome glistened under the warm, shimmering moonlight. The water in the pools was lustrously placid, extending from the massive gateway to the iwan - intricately embellished in ornate patterns and calligraphy. Winchester stared in awe at the massive structure that stood in front of him-a feast for the eyes. A monumental symbol of love, he thought. All that for Love, Love. He smiled at the irony of it. How much a man gives for love…

Winchester strolled past the pools, trying hard to ignore the beauty in front of him. He nervously glanced at his watch. It was time. Truth will come to light. She’ll surely find a way to get past.  The Taj remained closed for visitors as night fell, but Winchester was certain that the one, who had inexplicably summoned him, would have no problem in surreptitiously sneaking in.

Winchester stared at the tall minaret in front of him, its balcony surmounted by a marble canopy. Winchester wondered whether he had done the wise thing by coming here all the way from London. His associates had cautioned him repeatedly, but he was positive that his rendezvous would be productive.

Two Fifteen. She still isn’t here. Fifteen minutes have passed. Winchester swallowed, anxiously scanning the area. In seconds, a cascade of chilly, misty winds started to gambol around him, as he quivered in the cold. He struggled to open his eyes, the wind crashing against his face. But amidst the haze, he could see the silhouette of a figure standing only some feet away from him. Winchester quickly rushed towards the woman who stood as still as a mannequin, murmuring something in a low, droning voice-her back was turned towards him.

“You finally came! I had been waiting for a long time now!” He replied, and as instantly as the winds had begun, they stopped. The woman remained still.

“So, what was it that you had to tell me…what is it that you wish to submit to the S.O.S so urgently that you summoned me at this hour of the night?”  Winchester impatiently questioned.

“Patience.”The woman replied. Her back still turned towards Winchester. “One must not be in haste. But alas, if only you had time.”

“What do you mean? I have ample of time. A lot of time.  Just tell me what you wanted the S.O.S to know.” Winchester replied, annoyed at the fact that the woman still hadn’t turned her face.

“If only you knew that your hour has come. Are you always so slow, so dull and… so stupid Winchester!” the woman screamed, as she quickly turned and faced Winchester.

“Who are you?” Winchester questioned, as he nervously took a step back. The woman looked like she was in her twenties, and wore a black dress. Her black hair tied neatly in a bun.

“Oh we finally meet! And I always wondered who the person had been. How much we owe to you and how much you have… unwittingly helped us!” she cried, as she moved around a stunned Winchester.

“Who are you, I d-don’t know you!” Winchester retorted.

“It doesn’t matter who I am, but what matters is what I am going to do to you-pity. Such a pity mortals are…Have you forgotten the great sin that you did…Have you forgotten,” said the woman, and she bent towards Winchester’s ear, and whispered, “…the Great Prophecy.”

The woman came in front of Winchester and stared in his eyes. “How the hell…” he replied, and slid his hand in his pocket.

“No, no. Not so early now!” She screeched, twisting her fingers in an awkward fashion, as black vines started to sprout from the floor, uprooting the entire marble foundation, and wrapping around his body.

“W-what did I do…Who are you!” Winchester screamed. The entire building started to fall, piece by piece, as more and more vines started to grow.

“I am Murder, the one who tears the flesh, and breaks the bones. What did you do? Did my charm make you forget everything, darling?” she replied, playfully stroking a thin finger on Winchester’s face. “People don’t forget their feats too early, but I’ll enlighten you -For one, you are the reason why Eighteen years ago, we rejoiced. Eighteen years ago, with the return of our faithful, our fearsome, the Ominous!” she yelled.

“Neverr, never shall you succeed! Good will always be there!” Winchester shrieked, the vines now reaching his chest.

The woman turned to move away, then turned around again and replied, “Oh we will. And it will all be because of you!” Then she turned and walked away from the man, as he cursed and screamed, and pieces of marble fell all over the place.

 

 

 

Reviews

[EssenceofDaringx]

Well, that was...intense. Winchester didn't seem like the most reliable character, but it sucks that he had to die. It was very intriguing what you have going on here, but I have so many questions. Like who is this Murder woman? Or the great lord Ominous? What will happen now and who will the protagonist be from now on?

From a critical standpoint, there are some grammatical and structural errors. The first sentence for example, I feel like you could end it at "cypresses" and then start a new sentence with "Its". Structurally, indentation and spacing are very important. It helps the reader keep their place and gives a break for tired eyes.

I hope we find out what this prophecy is soon, on another note. Also, what exactly did Winchester do? Whatever it was, it seems apocalyptic.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter nonetheless. Happy writing :)

[Mustafa Khursheed]

Thanks again! You're the only one who actually goes though. I'll look through your suggestions. :)