An Overdue Reunon

I look out of the window after I hang up the phone after no one answered and I notice the blue of the sky and the green of what little grass still remained alive in my front yard. These vibrant colors pierce through the gray of the city with its dull building but a closer examination would reveal that even the emptiness of the colorless city had its own vibrance that was in turn enhanced by the spectacular colors of the nature in urban captivity.

The shining sun cast down its splendorous light upon the earth and with that the beauty was absorbed and reflected off the objects lucky enough to be captured in its radiance. Even my car, with all the rust and grease making it look thirty years older than the number on the model, seemed to radiate a vibrance that made the random dents and rust patches seem beautiful.

I step outside, entering the warmth of the August sun and I plant my feet in the patch of yard with the most grass. I feel the life from the grass cool my bare feet and I allow the sun to fall upon my face and kiss me with its rays.

I can’t believe that I haven't taken the time to slow down and enjoy the sun in the grass in what seems like years. Childhood splendors like naps in the sun and water balloon fights have left me with a hole inside that needed to be filled. The heroin seemed to cover it up, fooling me into thinking that somehow it was filled but I realized, in that bright summer sun, surrounded by the vibrance of the world, that the hollow part of my was only growing deeper with ever needle that punctured my skin.

What would mom have to say about what I’ve become?

Opening my eyes, I look down and realized that the only clothes I was wearing was an old and worn out t-shirt that I found on the street and my faded boxer shorts. I rush back inside before anyone can see me. Once I make it back inside, I burst out in laughter at myself and how I just walked out of my house without being dressed.

There came a ringing from my phone that interrupted my self-directed laughter. The ringtone silenced my laughing and instinctively, I answer the phone and not to my surprise, it was the new dealer who had just sold me the last batch of product.

“Hey man, I was just calling to check up on you after that last dose I got you. Did it work out alright for you?” he said in a low voice, weighted down with years of selling in the shadows.

“It was…” I paused and thought about what I was going to say next. “It was pretty good. So good in fact, that I think that I’m going to stop buying from you. I’ve got some things to sort out.”

With anger in his voice, he says “You better not be planning on ratting me out. If you do, you’re a dead man, you hear me?”

“That’s not what I’m trying to do here man. I just realized that this is going to kill me and I can’t keep doing this.” I reply to his threat in genuine fear. I’ve heard stories about what happens when these dealers have someone rat out on them. These guys have a serious attitude for loyalty in their customers. The dealers don’t even like it when customers switch dealers. The only reason I got away with it was because my old guy went solo and didn’t have anyone to enforce his loyalty policy.

“You’ve found someone else, haven’t you?” he asks in defence of his product.

“No dude, I’m getting off and I’m staying off. I’m not getting anymore. Bye.” I say and as I’m right about to hang up the phone, he yells loud enough for me to hear his anger through the phone “If I catch you, you’ll…” By then I had already hung up the phone and his threats were left unheard.

After sitting in what used to be the living room, I sit and watch television for what seems like hours. After hearing the phone ring again, I panic and jump up from fright. Tentatively, I reach for the phone and without letting the caller speak, I say “I’m sorry I hung up, but I’m still not doing this anymore.”

“Hello?” says the familiar voice in a quiet tone through soft sobs. The voice of my mother was speaking on the phone and she sounded as if her heart had been broken and simply hearing my voice made everything right in the world. I was in shock and in utter disbelief that my mother would call me back and I was almost left completely without words.

“Hello,” I say to the crying voice of my mother “It’s been a while.”

“Yes, yes it has,” she says through a gasp of happy laughter “I thought that you would never want to hear from us again. We thought, “she trailed off into a series of small weeps “we thought you would never want to be anywhere near us.”

“Well I was wondering,” I say with a pause “if it would be alright fro me to see you and dad again.” i say with longing and desperation in my voice.

“Yes. Of course you can. Come over as soon as you can. We would love to have you over.” she says with tears in her voice at the very thought of the upcoming reunion.

“Can I come over today?”

“Of course you can, sweetheart. We’ll have something ready for you for when you get here.”

“In that case, I’ll be right on my way then. I’ll see you then.”

“Alright. You take care of yourself now.” she says with one last joyful sob before I end the conversation.

I sit there on the couch for a good five minutes before I get up to get dressed and ready to leave to see them again. How could they still take me in like that even after all that I’ve put them through? Do they see something I don’t?

I get to the car and after finding out that it’s out of gas, I take several busses to get to where my parents live, thirty miles away.