Alexis Hope

I love you..... That's what I wanted to say, what I needed to say. I thought I had all the time in the world. Alas time is never on our side. 

Ever since my eyes fell upon your beautiful face my heart has been array, longing for the day my lips would rest against your forehead as we danced the night away. Screaming for me to take you away and call you mine. 

It started as a crush. I saw you walk by at church carelessly chatting with your friends. I stood in the shadows afraid of what you might say. Loathing my very essence knowing I was never good enough for an angle like you. I watched as your life passed me by wishing with every waking moment I could be a part of it.

Years passed as I longed for your attention until the day you first spoke to me.

The softness of that beautiful hello still haunts me to this day. Nervously I spoke back barley pushing the words out between my lips. With knees shaking and heart pounding fearfully, I introduced myself, as you smiled and welcomed me to your group. 

Time flew as our friendship grew, all the while my heart was yelling at me to confess my feelings for you but I was too scared, too ugly, and too weird. That's the thing though, you never saw me like that. To you, I was a friend, a gentle giant, a sweetheart. Sadly my fear governed me and I remained silent. Always waiting for the day I would confess my love for you.

The day was Saturday; Late may, if I do recall, when my fear loosened its hold just long enough for me to ask you on a date. But my fear was right. You let me down gently. Thinking of what I did wrong for you to make up such an excuse. That's when I knew you were the one I would wait for. You hugged me and said you still wanted to be my friend and that one day your answer would be a yes. 

Years passed once again as we grew further and further apart, until that fateful day came when you finally said yes. Sadly I thought it was all in jest and never took the chance when I had it to make you mine.

I wrestled with the events of that day for all my life, wondering if I had made the right choice or if I read you wrong. 

With that I left you. Never spoke to you or saw you for 4 years. Until I came back one day and saw the beautiful thing you had turned into. That tiny backwards, homely young girl that I loved so dearly had transformed into a strong majestic woman. Your big blue eyes were as vast as the sea. Your warm blonde hair rivaled the suns early glow. A smile so bright so sweet that you couldn't help but smile back. A body so sleek so tender that Aphrodite herself looked upon it with jealousy. 

That's how beautiful you looked laid upon that stage. Lying in your dark black bed, white sheets surrounding your body as friends and family said their goodbyes.

And there I was staring at your beautiful face one last time. My lifelong dream had been to steal you away and make you mine but that man, that drunken horrid man stole you first and would never give you back

What I wanted to say what I needed to say. All the time in the world had already slipped away. As the tears ran down my face and down my chin, resting upon your cold forehead, those words finally escaped my lips.

I love you.....