Goodbye at the End of the World

A farewell to some of earth's more annoying residents during the apocalypse.

At 6 AM
My alarm cut me out of a beautiful dream
I rolled out of bed
and into the apocalypse
Now since it's early and there is no tomorrow
Allow me to remove social grace
And hurl in the face of the world
A few choice words.
Of course people are a******s by and large
And I find it kind of hard to find the kind hearted
So I can't hit every pocket of irritation.
Just a few bits of bullshit to pit my pen against.

To the yuppy muppets with a head up their a*s instead of a hand
Condescending to honest bending over backwards wait staff at lunch.
To anyone who still uses the word “retarded”.
To the try hard "nice guys finish last" type
with a cap and high lack of self awareness.
To the big fish small pond office space gossips
facing middle age with the style and grace of a wicked step sister.
To at least 90% of the comment section on basically anything posted online.
95% if it's YouTube
To the miss or mister
"I don't care what people think I'm just being real"
You're not.
You're annoying at best and a bully at worst
And your acidic aesthetic?
I get it you're a "bad b***h"
But your bit has worn thinner than your skin actually is.
To anyone who wears a red hat with "stupid" written on the front.
and finally to anyone who cuts someone off to park illegally in a handicap spot to see a movie they most assuredly will talk during.

You're the worst.
Have a nice end of the world.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Excuse me while I have an orgasm. This is where I live. I love irreverent writing & I would say that fully half of these zingers are well out of the park. There are a few more mundane ones, but expressed with such fuming disgust, I can't help but feel your sentiments. Right now, it's so politically incorrect to suggest that we need a major culling . . . especially with a pandemic inflicting that upon us as we speak! But I'm sure more than just I have wished death upon a few of the worst hate-mongers on full-blast. If I posted something like this on FB, I would get thirty private messages from the Christian right telling me I need to pray hard for God to heal my nasty vitriol. Hell, I called Trump an asswipe (a word which I edited down numerous times, finally reaching this very tame level of insult) & I still got a self-righteous onslaught. Reading this makes me want to say what I really feel, but since I can't stand the backlash, I'll just cream my jeans while I read you (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[ThoughtsIBought]

I just read your two recent comments and wow thank you! Your kindness and passionate feedback really made my week. I really let loose on this piece and while it's gotten a lot of radio silence it means the world to me were able to resonate with it :)