Bitter Sweet Woman

She came to me on the night of the eclipse

I should have read more into the timing

But her body was as round as an ellipse

She got my lust firm and climbing

Tis’ my wanderlust’s limit

Within this tryst I’m firmly binding

 

Reclining in her celestial grace of shining

Glory, a face both bright and blinding

Matching bust…like my rhyming

Tragic lust…my fate consigning

Logic’s cusp….overriding

 That Magic dust…her words compiling

Metallic rust her heart is mining

This cloud-like woman has no silver lining....

Reviews

[Ashira Macy]

Sounds like a dream gone a bit sour to me. But all good dreams must expire at some point. Great rhyming throughout, it made it flow well.

[Rocans]

Grazie. I appreciate the read and the comment.

[Rita L. Sev]

Now that is some skill with the rhyme and rhythm of this piece, Rocans! You concluding line speaks volumes... Wonderfully crafted!

[Rocans]

Thanks Rita! Your comments mean so much to me. I am glad you like it, didn't think much of it at first but I guess there's something to it. Thanks again.

[BennyBooth]

Nice flow and rhyme with this one. I think you have done a really good job and I have read it half a dozen times already! I like it!...

[Rocans]

Thanks Benny. You inspire me to write on. Your comment really heartened me. Thanks again man!

[BennyBooth]

You're welcome mate! keep writing... :)

[Briana O'Connor]

The fact that you were able to make almost every single line rhyme in the same way without it seeming forced or deflecting from the rhythm or meaning of the piece is amazing. Very well done. Thank you for sharing.

[Rocans]

Thanks, I always put extra effort into getting an unforced feel to my rhymes. Thanks for commenting.

[FateDictates]

I love the easy flow and rhythm this piece so confidently portrays, loved it..

[Rocans]

Thanks, I appreciate your thoughtful comment.

[Tricia Pattinson]

Great title for this poignant piece. A combination of passion, desire and the fleeting moments their captivity. Well done!

[Rocans]

Thanks Tricia.