I don't like you but we're friends

This is about drifting apart from the people we used to be the closest with, in my case because of my friends drug addiction.

It's been nearly a year now and here again I see your face,

in it carved a smile, genuine and true. 

Your eyes are darkened and your skin is pale.

Rage revisits, the fire burns fresh and new,

my own smile imploding, our parting in mind,

I did so much to help you, I worked so hard to save you,

I know since then you have been using,

I can tell, I see you, I know you.

I knew you.

You laugh and you joke, punch my shoulder playfully,

you are ignorant to my distance, 

I say something more now, you move close to stand by me,

again you turn to humour, you are sharper than you once were, and you are knowing,

a chuckle escapes my grasp- damn.

Once I gave you my secrets, to my head you have the key.

I curse you for your knowledge, for your power over me,

the door to my mind is ajar for you,but my brain is my only weapon,

 I must be stronger, faster, more nimble,

sarcasm my one sword and wit my waiting allie,

you recognise my anger, my fight not to let you in,

I cared for you, I lost sleep for you, I tried every book I knew,

to me, you committed a betrayal, you did wrong, without care.

Look at you. You are a woman on the decline, a mess, a painful sight.

For you I feel no affection, my love you have outgrown. 

But still I fail to block you, to keep you at arms length.

'Coffee? '- you already know my answer, and I hate you for what you've done. 

You have ripped me of all logic, you know me and I know you.

I couldn't say I liked you but my mind cannot erase,

 I am trapped inside our memories, I fail to escape your gaze

You are my friend. You know me, to you I am whole.

Reviews

[Jamestown]

Nice work here, well written. I could feel the raw emotions flowing, you are good
with showcasing raw material, I have been down this road with a ex and you have to forgive
and move on, holding a grudge will only effect you,thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[Thegoodgatasby]

Long in the past for me now this one, not forgotten but long forgiven, thanks for your words :)

[Thegoodgatasby]

Thanks Steven for taking the time to review my work, your feedback is massively appreciated, so thank you!! Innocence and coffee was one of the first writing pieces I read on this site, you are an incredibly talented writer and you are very welcome. Grace :))

[steven sundell]

Pain can be a very useful tool, not only as a catharsis for dealing with it, but also as a source for true, creative work. Obviously, this poem is an example of which. Very well written. I especially liked the line; "Rage revisits, the fire burns fresh and new", nice use of metaphor.
Also, I appreciate your kind words of one of my song lyrics. Innocence & Coffee.
Sonny