hm... the ending isn't nearly as good as the opening, the opening is genius,
the middle follws perfectly, i dont like the last line. if you left it out this would be on of the best poems, ive personally read. leaving it in brings the skill to a place it isnt at all, mediocre. thats just my opinion, what do you think?...
This is a touching story of heartbreak. I have no idea how you wrapped wisdom in such a short piece. Story, Lesson, Warning....all of the above. Fantastic.
i like where you're going with this. and its wonderfull the way it is, but in my personal opinion i would have put, Our anger remind us who we have become, our scars will never let us forget it.
Now i only say this because scars last for ever (almost) and when you think about never forgeting somehting, i automaticly think of scars. But thats just me, you minght have intended for the lines to be like that and mean somthing else but, im too blind to see it.
but all in all, a very well put togeather peice. Lovely. XD
I'm sure you've heard this one before, but I feel I may relate to this poem in a small, slight way. You're very talented! It was great reading your poems. I hope to be able to read more of them. Excellent writing! :)
All of my books and poems are my work excpet the fanfictions. I own my ideas and my characters and will take rightful actions if i find them stolen.
I have been brought to this world to bring the .. more..