The Era of Fallen Angel

 

slowly, ever so slowly, he let his hand trail down the girl's back over two thin scars. a frown graced his handsome face, his brows knited together as if he was deep in thought. his voice trembled slightly
" does it hurt?" you could see in his eyes he cared for her and was very concerned.
the girl turned her head to look at him over her shoulder. she made sure to keep a hold on the sheet that covered her front. eyes narrowing in thought, she turned back to face away from him.
"sometimes" she answered simplely.
he set both his hands on her shoulders, her breath hitched from the sudden contact. leaning close to her ear he spoke in a soft yet firm whisper
"i''m here "
she didnt say anything at first. this feeling was new, nothing she has ever felt before. she felt right, she felt unstoppable, she felt ..... loved.
"i know"
a smile made its way onto her lips. almost as if he was linked to her feelings he smiled as well. she turned around fully to look at him full on. she fancied him and he fancied her.
the perfect match made to break the odds. She was a fallen angel, torn from her place among the heavenly land of forever grace. He was a mere mortal that needed breaking from the demons that suduced him. somehow they met in a moment in time where nothing was impossible, the world was burning, the skys where crying, and the battle of ages has began. 
 

Prolouge

the world was at its peak. the turn of the century had come and gone like any other day of the year. people all over the nation were waking up and following the same rut that they were stuck in. Children were being born, the young were being tought right from wrong, and the old were reliving the good old days. without knowing what was really happening, things changed on a dime. all because an angel fell from heaven.

Reviews

[Olive]

Interesting concept. I definitely agree that this has potentional for a great story.

[William W.]

It sounds like it has some potential as an interesting story. I thought that perhaps you sabotage your own story by coming right out and saying that she's a fallen angel rather than letting that knowledge come to the reader during the course of telling the story. It's a very short scene, so I don't know if you have in mind to write more, or whether or not that was all you had. In any case--I think a story like this definitely comes off as being interesting when you carry it off. I like the beginning so I hope that I will be reading more of this story in the future.