This Is The Way The World Ends

Adapted from T.S. Elliot's "The Hollow Men"

This is the way the world ends.
This is the way the world ends.
This is the way the world ends.
Not with a bang but a whimper.

Whisper your thoughts,
to anyone who cares
Speak aloud,
say all of your prayers
Have some faith,
as the world crashes down --
Build a kingdom of dirt
and make a thorny crown

This is the way the world ends.

Become a god,
for all to believe
It won't be hard,
because Man is naïve.
Give them faith,
and a place to call home.
Open their eyes,
and let their minds roam

This is the way the world ends.

You walk on stones,
bruising your feet
You know the transition
will soon be complete
You rose from Man
to a brand new world,
Throbbing with power
that will soon be unfurled

This is the way the world ends.

Build yourself up
in reflection of Man
But never forget
how it all began:
With a simple hope,
and this thing called a dream
You became a god,
built on self-esteem.

Not with a bang but a whimper.

Now understand that you're going to die
It's what we all call the circle of life
A world built of fear will release a sigh
We say our prayers, then pass you by
A psychopathic world, when you ask yourself why
Go about your life, without a tear in your eye
Know that you created this, so hang it to dry
Realize that because of Man, the end is nigh
So keep on walking with your head held high
When there's nothing left to say, then just say good-bye.

This is the way the world ends.
This is the way the world ends.
This is the way the world ends.
Not with a bang but a whimper...

Reviews

[Sonya]

This poem has excellent rhythm and is very true to the real world.

[Fallen_Immortal]

This was wonderful. I'm a fan of dark writing, though it seems that people are generally terrible at pulling it off without sounding too maniacally sadistic in the most false way possible, but I really did enjoy this. I might have to read it again so I can remember all that I read, but this was wonderful, and it makes me want to read more of your work. And ignore Mike, unless you really enjoy his rants. This was great, and I especially loved the continuing stanza throughout, with the three repeating lines. Very unique. I loved it.

This brings to mind a phrase I heard once, "those who die with the most toys are still dead". This is the same sort of vibe the poem gives me; no matter what you build up in life it is all worthless, because you will die and be forgotten. Not an especially happy train of thought, but that's your style I suppose.

Anyway, criticism. The first and last stanzas seem completely unnecessary. I imagine they would add a certain flavour to a song, but they do not work well as a poem. I'd remove both.

Barring those, the last line would be "When there's nothing left to say, then just say good-bye" and I feel that given the build up, it doesn't have quite the punch it should. I'm not too sure what to suggest in it's place but stronger wording might be more appropriate.

The last stanza also changes it rhythm considerably, and on paper this doesn't work out too well. I am bearing in mind that this is probably another of your songs, and at this point the music would likely speed up, so I am not suggesting changing it, merely commenting.

There actually isn't all that much I can say otherwise. I like the overall style, but nothing stands out as immensely good or rotten (save for those two stanzas, but I have already mentioned those). Overall though, I would call it higher quality than your usual writings.