A Psuedo Smile

I was around 4 months old when I was introduced to her. After that, she became my best friend, even though she was ten-fold my age at the time. Yes, she was forty months old, three years and four months. Ironically, but of course not planned, she was exactly three years older than me. Well, if you don't count hours, minutes, and seconds; that would be strange. Her name was Sharon. A beautiful name, all because of her.

I was born in China, but my parents didn't want me, or couldn't have me, or something like that. I don't remember my family at all. They sent me to the United States to perhaps get a new family. I was adopted by the best person and friend and family in the world: Sharon's family.

We grew up fast together, I remember the good times very well. She would hold me as we sleep, and she would make me hold her, although I didn't mind. Actually, I enjoyed it. She was beautiful, and still is to this day. I remember watching her do her hair, and I would just sit there and smile patiently. She'd smile back and come over to me and do my hair, too. I felt so elegant, so beautiful. I remember her dressing me in all these nice and warm clothes she bought me. I was so sure I was the prettiest, aside from her, of course.

Three years passed by, and we were still best friends. She would take me everywhere. I particularly enjoyed going to school with her to watch her do her work and play with her friends. She would tell them about me, and they would giggle and awe. I was so proud.

But one time, in school, a group of kids were picking on Sharon. They were making fun of her, calling her a baby, calling her mean names. I couldn't figure out why. But in this circle of people were her 'friends'. This angered me. I wanted so hard to get up and punch them in the face, but I couldn't. Sharon would be mad at me, she hated violence.

Sharon grabbed me and ran all the way home with me in her arms. She took me to her room and hugged me as she sobbed. My arms were thrown around hers, I couldn't help but feel bad and hold her; I was speechless. I wanted to assure her everything would be okay.

After that, she did something I will never forget. She... She told me she hated me. Hated me... She... hated... me... She told me I was the reason she was made fun of. They picked on her because of me... I couldn't believe it... All of the years that passed by. All of the good times were now just thrown away.

And here I lie... In a dark toybox with all of the other unwanted toys. Stripped of clothing and pride. I want to cry, curse these button eyes. If I could, I'd rip the stitching off of them. Curse my permanent smile, why a smile? If only I had muscles, or fingers. But instead, I'm fluff. A bag of fluff with a name: Raggedy Anne

Reviews

[Alphachad]

Best twist i've read so far. This was an awesome read. Thanks for sharing mate

[Fallen_Immortal]

Mikee was right when he had me read this, this is probably the best of your stories that I've read. It's creepy and sad. And not creepy in a gory way, which can sometimes loose its edge because it's too straight forward. This was just intense. It was drop dead amazing. It took me the entire first half to finally catch on, but even then, I still needed that bit to tell for sure.

This was great. I don't really know how to critique it. I'd say it's damn near perfect

[Lynx]

This, is awesome. I had thought that the main character could have been a pet, a dog maybe. But then the realisation that it was a doll all along, really is awesome, unexpected. I do think this is slightly too short though. Anyway, awesome job.

[Alexander]

Wow. Didn't see that one coming either. Maybe I'm just slow ;] Really great. I really suck at writing short stories, so I truly admire anyone that can, and make it interesting. Well done
Z

[*RIC]

A really great story, I saw a child through the whole layout, and not a bag of fluff with a name!
I have come across poems/stories such as yours, but yours was actually really good, where I had no clue until towards the end that it was a animal toy, keeping reader tagging along right to the end! Tops... :)

I am not so proficient with stories as I am poems, but this is one worth dropping a comment on. You have taken what would be a more or less normal part of adolescence and added a chillingly human layer on top. There are few people who will read this without thinking back to their favourite pre-teen toys with a twinge of guilt.

Though, I think that some of that human element is lost when you reveal your twist ending. The story ends with an "oh, that makes sense" sort of sensation. If you merely implied, rather than outright told, that the story was given from the perspective of a doll, it would be a lot more disconcerting even when people do figure it out.

Anyway, there is no rhyme, rhythm or meter here, so I shall take my overly complicated complex sentences (which makes my tendency to ramble more confusing than it already is) elsewhere, leaving your readers to contemplate their shivers.