Confession V

On the tube, way to school, same ol' same ol' Till you hear the bomb's about to drop. Literally.

 

I was on the tube when it happened

Sometime in the morning, I think

It was still dark outside

I wore my uniform;

Blue blouse,

Charcoal skirt,

Badly hemmed

People around me had their bags under their eyes

Or their

Late night Sweats

Still hung on to their

Slept-in clothes...

 

I didn't have the headphones on

I-pod out of charge, it

Abandoned me

In my hour of need

The half-asleep, hella dull hour on the way to a

Monotonous day

So instead

I stared at the map;

Memorised the hammersmith and city line

Front and back

Itched my head

Repositioned my hat

 

The noise came quick, sudden

 Crashed daydreams.

The siren sounds in the background

Moans, groans

But makes no sense

Blurs out of focus

I can not understand it so

It does not register so

It falls on

Deaf ears.

 

Then the voice comes,

Overhead

Comes to make things clear.

The driver, on his intercom says

Things like

"Imminent danger"

"Imminent attack"

"Danger..."

But the mention of the "H bomb" was what made the siren ring like broken pieces of crystal.

 

I looked around,

couldn't believe

Or chose not to

What I heard

Unless properly verified;

But the proof was in the faces of the others, all the others

The carriage shook with silence

Five minutes, is what he said

Five minutes

And then...

The end.

My hand grabbed

into my pocket

Reaching for my phone;

But the little screen screamed

"SOS"

S****y blackberry

Hunk of Junk

There was no signal, nothing

No final "I love you"s

Or texts to frightened friends

I stood up,

It was all I could think

To do

For some reason I didn't want to die

Sitting down,

In a tube carriage

And I knew I was going to die

Some man grabbed me, took me in his arms

Took my face in his

And kissed me,

I didn't want to die

Untouched

But then again,

I didn't

Really

Wanna die

I felt his tears on my face

But myself?

I was a girl, even

But couldn't cry

Cause there was no time, no space

No moment for philosophical reflection

Or to dwell in my regrets

I thought "I should've..."

But there was no clear end to the sentence

 

It didn't seem to matter

The guy broke away,

Heaved silent, dry, heaves

 

I saw a mother cling her baby to her breast

Could see it in her eyes; see what she felt;

This creature, she carried for nine months

Bore with every pain

Bore only so it could die

This was

More than waste, more than dead time

She held the baby close, closer than tight

As though her body was as thick as steel,

A chunk of lead

As though she could shield it, too...

 

Someone tried to hum

To sing

Wanted to make it all right

It wasn't.

Maybe it would have worked, if we had a while

But there was no time...

 

We couldn't see the flash of light,

But we felt it

A shudder, a burst of heat

Wherever we were buried, under the city

It wasn't quite

Deep

Enough.