Cold waters

This is a poem I wrote a while back...It's really suckish but I wanted to post it anyway. To Rj. Wolf!

 

You left me here in pitch black waters

Let me cry myself to sleep as you went away

You left heartlessly even when I begged you to stay

When I weep it’s your ego I flatter…

 

Left is what you did as I stood in the rain

In my darkest time

You left me with only a sharp knife that I try to restrain

Is it worth the price of you being mine

 

Maybe or maybe not

It’s your choice. You decide!

But one misguided step and it’s either you or me that’s going to die

Oh! Don’t get scared! This is worth the plot

 

You should have thought twice before you broke my heart

Now watch as I slowly take your world apart

Does it even matter to you that I shed a tear?

It seems I only get your attention when I make you believe your end is near

 

I have grown mad

Now I can't live without taking my drug

That's you...Fill in that hole that you dug

Inside me as I feel empty. You're the only thing I  ever had

 

I’ll haunt you

Keep you awake at night

Make you think about me while you tremble with fright

Maybe then you’ll see that it’s all true

That I do and I’ll always truly love you

 

What?! What is that I see?!

You kissing a guy! That sadly isn't me

That’s what you call a misguided step

Now look at the knife I slide under your neck

 

I cut your throat as you were lying on your bed

Never have I seen such a beautiful head

Now die, suffer and bleed as you did to me and see

And feel what I felt the day you left me

You left me here in bloody red waters…

Left me as I hold your cold, lifeless heart

Never shall we grow or even fall apart

When I die it’s you I’ll be looking after…

 

Now then I’ll tell you again even though this is the last time it will be said

I love you to death, my love…I love you to your death

 

Author's Note

Please be clement in your reviews >.> I know there is much to improve..I just didn't know where to start.

Reviews

[N!LoC]

a story.. a poem... a flow... very open with your feelings in here... its always great to know a guy isn't afraid to admit he cries...

[X]

This is awesome man. I love that you keep the rhyme scheme going from stanza to stanza- I think that's the first time I have seen that style and it is quite effective especially for this poem. The revenge idea is awesome and your imagery is great- it tells a story that I can relate quite well to and the same thoughts and emotions that you express are ones I know all too well. Quite well done.

X

[GlacialStars]

Thank you! The idea that you can relate to this poem makes me a little uneasy xD I'm kidding! Thanks for reviewing though

[X]

Haha well hey, what can I say. And no prob