Heart flutters like a hummingbird’s wings. Like I’ve ran for hours. The sun blurs as the waves merge back together. Liquid blanket closes around my shoulders. Sink deeper, deeper, The silence is starving for my sanity.
I can hear my heartbeat.
Thumping in my ears. Slows to a deathly pace, A pace meant for endless sleep.
Pulsepulsepulse pulse pulse pulse…pulse…
Hush, now, lungs, Let the seawater rush in and Kiss the pain away,
Let the bubbles race across my skin, Millions of tiny orbs, little beads scrambling For the surface, Let them tickle my neck and arms.
Let the warmth of shallow water fade Into the deep, black cold of the ocean.
On the beach, you could call her a friend. In her arms, she feels like something sinister, A collar that is too tight.
She is no sparkling blue maiden. She is a murky ebony witch.
Heart is screaming. Mouth opens to echo But all sound is muffled. Floating slowly down the ocean floor.
Oxygen is naught but a memory, And sunlight is a thing of other worlds. Starless nights await as I close my eyes One last time.
I touch down on sand, Look up perhaps searching for an angel to greet me, but see only Endless fields of water, Color of old bruises. Soundlessness all around.
Beautifully done. :) You've done an excellent job of capturing the moment--the imagery and flow of it all is perfect.
Probably my favorite line (of all the excellent ones to choose from!) :
"The silence is starving for my sanity."
The idea of the pressing quiet of the world beneath the waves is really well done. Also, your use of the heartbeat, especially at the ending, is very good!
There are some writers you can't wait for them to post something new. So I am sitting at the foot of your tree of inspitation waiting for a falling leaf to fall so I can catch it and treasure it until the next decides to float my way. I am patiently waiting no matter how long it takes.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank you, Rico, and I must apologize, dear, my head has been in the clouds. I know I have read requ.. read moreThank you, Rico, and I must apologize, dear, my head has been in the clouds. I know I have read requests from you. I am heading to your territory now. :)
I think you've captured this experience beautifully.
They say that drowning is the most peaceful way to go.
Personally I'd like it to be when I'm very old and in my sleep.
Excellent writing my friend.
I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.
I love to write and I love to review. Send me requests and I'll leave you my thoughts. I would hope that you'd do the same for me.
My re.. more..