Claustrophobia

Is the air in this room draining, 
or are my lungs shrinking? 
Am I shackled to this chair,
or have my muscles turned to ice?

Brick by brick I am walled in. 
My heart trembles as white noise fills my ears.

I am trapped. Death is imminent, it is here, it is now.
Brick by brick by brick.
Breathe breathe f*****g BREATHE--

Wait. 

This room is smaller than before,
I am sure, I am sure. 

Where has the door handle gone?
Why is it so hard to breathe?

I am never going to see the sky again.
Bricks and bricks and bricks--
A tomb. 

A place to rot. 

Lock me in,

LET

ME

OUT

Author's Note

Critique the hell out of me.

Reviews

[Kelsey]

Claustrophobia is something I can relate to, and this poem was such a wonderful, dark piece about it. The way you set this poem up really helps portray what the piece is saying. Very nicely done. x

[Valentine]

I once was locked in a room, cut and bleeding. After that I could not stand anything between me and a doorway. Abuse by others or oneself can cause this. Valentine

[Relic]

Critique? Okay. You were wearing the wrong shirt when you wrote this. There, how's that. Time has a way of playing tricks on us. If we sit in a room too long and make a habit out of it, the mind conjures up all the reasons why we're nuts. Suddenly our complexion looks wrong. We feel tired and wonder if this is the way things will always be. We may even eat a lot in order to fill up a need we can't identify.

On the other hand, students often feel this way too. Why do I need to know about Ben Franklyn for? He was weird looking and had buckles on his shoes. "I ain't goin to the mall with that guy." The hell with all of this crap, Why does my hair look like that? Let me fix it...ahhhhh, it's worse. Who's that outside walking on the street? What's that noise?

See what I mean? I've been in a room to long too. :)

Good poem Leaf.

[Falling Leaf.]

Haha, thanks for the review, Relic. :)

[Relic]

It was my pleasure. :)

[Dutch Jr.]

Clear and concise. But I'm sure it has a deeper meaning to you as the writer. I was never one to critique poetry, I don't see a need in it. I think poets should be free to express themselves how they please. And I'd say you have a pretty creative way of doing that. So just keep doing what you're doing

[Falling Leaf.]

Thank you. :)

[bunny]

aesthetic, its all i can say

[MomzillaNC]

I doubt it was your intent, but this to me, and asthma sufferer, is a chillingly accurate portrayal of how an asthma attack feels.

[Falling Leaf.]

I am glad it spoke to you, albeit I'm sorry you have to deal with asthma... Thank you for the read.

[MomzillaNC]

yw :)

[Dannyisawriter]

It had a really good flow to it

[Falling Leaf.]

Thank you!

[Elie Marie]

Having had my own anxiety/struggles, I actually just love this. It's exactly the feeling put into words.

[Falling Leaf.]

Thank you!

[A Ghost of Myself]

Breathe (,) breathe (,) f*****g BREATHE—you may want to italicize your last ‘breathe’

I am sure (.) I am sure (.)

I think you paint a vivid picture of panic, but you over use ‘breathe’ there are so many other functions you could insert and avoid repetition. Consider this, Claustrophobia is the phobia of enclosed spaces, one confined, or trapped as your narrator, would envision the walls pushing in, the ceiling descending and compressing . . . the door handle would never actually vanish, but it would appear to be growing in distance. Your chest would constrict, your breath labored (as above) you may sweat, your inside churn. You have a great basis, and ending with LET ME OUT, it is a perfect closing, because this doesn’t have to be the literal meaning of being confined in a small space, it could my symbolic of a person’s psychological status—the feeling of being trapped in who they are or their surroundings, hence, LET ME OUT!. I enjoyed this. I’d like to see it expanded on, but that’s my opinion. I hope this helps.

[Nessie_AJ]

There are simply no words to even "critique" you! This is a marvelous piece of work!! The intensity is so palpable and you can feel the anxiety!!!!! Love this!

[Falling Leaf.]

Thank you!