The Wishing Well

I'll the poem speak on its on.

When you stare into the wishing well

Is there a secret you could never tell?

A day you dearly regret

A crucial mistep

When you stare into the wishing well

Do you wonder what would be if you fell?

How people might react

If the world would pick up your slack

When you stare into the wishing well

Do you see the fires of hell?

Do you arms carry scars?

Do you still believe in the stars?

When you stare into the wishing well

Do you feel like an empty shell?

Will you jump the stone wall?

Will you come to the devil's call?

When you jumped into the wishing well

Wasn't there someone you could tell?

Did you ever feel a twinge of regret?

Did those awful children make your life a bet?

When you jumped into the wishing well 

Who would be there for you to tell?

What did you want? What did you find?

Happiness? Laughter? A peace of mind?

When you stared into the wishing well

There is something you clearly couldn't tell

That when you leave you risk a heart

That when you jump you tear me apart

Once I saw a little girl at the wishing well

She ran, jumped, and fell

And from what I could tell

I didn't matter where she landed

Heaven or hell

Author's Note

Well?

Reviews

[DrD]

The theme is worthy here and the originality is a big plus. I did not particular like the line, "Did those awful children make your life a bet?" because it hints of a forced rhyme. The best rhyming pattern was in "What did you want? What did you find? Happiness? Laughter? A peace of mind?" because it was cohesive with a very natural flow and the rhyming words completed a thought. As it is, it is a very good read, I simply think that, with your talent, the rhyming could have been less forced with better word selection.

[Just Some Dreamer]

Thank you. I'm totally a slave to rhyme. It's probably my least favorite line too. Thank you for your critism though, I value it very much.

[Tai Ryens]

The wishing well sounds much, much more uplifting that what you portray it to be, and I commend you for that. How you are able to lean towards a dark perspective is truly a talent, especially if used for writing poetry. Well done, well done.

[Just Some Dreamer]

Thanks

[Owlgirl]

Like I said in Family Life and repeated in yearbook :p , this is amazing. One of your best poems. Great job!

[Just Some Dreamer]

Thank ya :)

[Owlgirl]

It truly is great.
I can come 2morrow by the way, pm you're house # and such xD
(That sounds so stalkerish, lol)