Touching Darkness

I wrote this for the depression contest. Heck, I scared myself with this one. It goes places I don't really want to go.

I have touched the darkness

Inky and thick it oozes despair

As it spreads through my mind

Like the dis-ease that it is

An insidious creeping thing

 

Sinister and willful

It feeds on itself

Consuming the best parts

Of all that I am

It slams into me

Like the train I cannot outrun

 

My reality leaves me as I

Bathed in nothingness

Wander along the tracks

Wondering what happened

And how I got here

 

I am left to wallow in self doubt

wondering if I can still draw breath

Wailing and fearful

That there is no future

 

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Kerry,

A nice one. "I have touched the darkness". Yes, that's it. When you do, the shivers start. And I liked your hyphenation of "dis-ease". That's it, too, both meanings are so appropriate. It almost made me hope that you would hyphenate more, as in hyphenating "insidious" as "insid(e)-ious".

"Sinister and willful
It feeds on itself"
...
"Wailing and fearful
That there is no future"

You understand the darkness well.

A powerful write.

Best regards,

Rick

[R J Askew]

Great stuff. Calls up the demon doubt very strongly. I can only write dark when I am in a good mood. When in a grim mood I tend to go into form. dunno why. Wandering/wondering/wailing work well together ... maybe it is something about W ... woe/wasting/wounded/woeded

[Collect-Eye]

I sense that you wrote this carefully and methodically ..
the second stanza was exceptionally strong rhythmically conceptually and the words were well chosen.
The whole piece had an interesting feel to it.
It comes across a little bit on the cautious side, which is ironic since you mentioned a train you couldn't outrun..which was good way to express that particular imagery, btw.
The overall piece was strong but it could have taken an extra risk or two.
I've basically cured my depression through exploration and trial and error and a bit of information. And sometimes you just have to let it burn itself out.
Playing it safe is ok, but it's a breeding ground for limitation. You are highly skilled, but I sense you're holding back a little.
I'm only saying this because you seem really nice and would probly not bite my head off..ha