Animals

lol this is for my english exam for tommorow, bit late I know. If you see this could you leave your opinion? Thank you xxxxx

 

Jaya woke up lying on her back, looking up at a high, dark marble ceiling. She slowly got up and looked around her. The room was huge, and very cold. On the wall the was mural, it was of 3 small figures standing together at a distance from another, larger figure with shrouded in gold. One of the 3 was surrounded with small lights, almost like spirits. The mural was ancient, cracked and faded. Jaya suddenly went from feeling confused to feeling trapped and began to run towards the doors at the end of the tunnel. She continued to run until she reached an archway that lead her outside to a picturesque scene. A beautiful field with fruit trees, grass and flowers. Beyond this, she could see a cliff, and over it a stretch of sea. She turned around and the hall she had came from had disappeared, replaced by the field.

 

She was near tears with panic. She looked up and saw a bird circling above her. She

felt a flash of pain behind her eyes. Suddenly she was far above the island. She saw it was an island. She could feel the wind under the bird’s wings. Suddenly she was back on the ground. Staggering, she clutched her head and groaned. She looked up again, squinting up at the bird.

“What the hell?” she muttered to herself.

As she went to turn around and walk the other way, someone slammed into her. They both went sprawling. As Jaya rolled on her side �" about to tell them to watch where they were going. She saw that the other girl was already on her feet, slightly crouched and glaring at her with some intensity. She was tall and skinny, with long black hair and dark, unfocused eyes. She was breathing very heavily. Jaya stared at her, stunned.

Eventually Jaya cleared her throat and said, “Um, are you ok”.

 The other girl just looked at her.

“What the hell am I doing here” She said  

“I don't know! I’m lost too” Jaya said defensively

 The girl waited a second then said frankly “My name is Jordan.”

“Jaya” replied Jaya hesitantly.

They stood in awkward silence, not knowing really what to say in such strange circumstances. A small fox ran past and Jaya felt that jarring headache again.

And she was running through the grass, nose to the ground. She could hear sounds from all around her, from much much further away. She could feel every nose twitch and tail movement, every slight sensation of the fox. The sensation ended and she was back in her own body, laying on the ground. She felt as if she was going to be sick. Jordan was staring down at her with with concern and suspicion  

“are you ok?” she asked “you just collapsed”

Jordan offered her a hand and pulled her up. Jaya looked around and saw the red tail of the fox disappear into the undergrowth.

“Yeah I’m fine”.

 

They walked around the entire island, it only took an hour. Jaya talked about how worried and scared she was while Jordan just nodded sometimes. Jaya decided Jordan wasn't really a talkative person. Suddenly, Jordan pulled Jaya down into a stooped position behind a rock.

“What is it”? Jaya whispered

Jordan put a finger to her lips and beckoned for Jaya to follow, she ran silently to crouch behind another rock.

Jaya groaned and muttered “God, so over dramatic”

Jordan pointedly beckoned at her again and Jaya went over to her.

“Can you hear that?” Jordan whispered to her

“No, what are you talking about?”

Jordan closed her eyes in concentration and then pointed ahead. She ran that way, ducking and weaving with Jaya in pursuit. This went on for some time and eventually they came upon a small clearing. They hid behind a tree.

“How did you hear that from so far awa-” Jaya began to say, stopping as she looked where Jordan was looking.

Someone was standing with their back to them. He was tall with badly dyed hair. Jaya saw a small gecko running across a rock, she felt that headache again but this time she tried to focus it. She collapsed, and Jordan pulled her from sight. She saw from the gecko’s eyes, this time in flashes as her concentration faltered. The guy was young, about their age. He was holding a phone in his hand, attempting to get it to work.

And then she was herself again, she stood up and whispered to Jordan.

“Look, I think this guy is in the same boat as us. He might be friendly”

Jordan nodded and approached him slowly. She stood less than a metre behind him and said “Hi.”

The guy jumped and whirled around.

“What the hell! Don't sneak up on me like that! You could’ve given me a heart attack!” He hissed. Then he froze.

“Wait” He said, pointing a finger at Jordan, then at Jaya, who waved at him.

“Who are you two? Do you have any idea what I’m doing here?”

Jordan sighed glanced back at Jaya, she made to answer him but then did a double take. She looked at Jaya again, who was staring at a point in the distance. Her mouth wide open.

Jordan and the guy both turned to look where she was staring.

Standing in the distance there was a man, too far away to distinguish. But we was emitting a soft gold glow. He was staring straight at them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

please ignore grammer, could you focus on plot, diolouge and quality of start/end