A Gothic Fairytale (Alternate Ending)

Once upon a time
There was a gorgeous princess 
who lived in a beautiful gothic castle, 
Decorate with black roses and Lace curtains 
Fill with Victorian furniture
The candles that lighted the castle,
Spread the smell of wild roses,
Lavenders, lemon and honey 
In the garden of the mansion
Grew fresh apples, cherries and berries, 
Which made any mouth water

In the gothic castle, 
the princess had a pet 
named Forbidden 
It was a little kitten 
with Black mix grey fur
Every stormy night 
when thunder hits the ground
Forbidden ran to the princess
And crawled under her feet
She found comfort in these days  
Darkness was her home

Her life seemed like a perfect fairytale
A beautiful gothic fairytale
She had everything 
a girl would ever dreamed of
Gorgeous dresses, jewelleries and shoes
that went along with the dresses
She had servants at her hand
Parents that loved her and ruled the country
Her life was filled with luxury
Money was at her feet
But none of these broought her happiness
Because the princess was alone
With no one to talk 
and no one listen
She was sad and lonely
In the gothic castle

Her only friend was Forbidden
He was a good listener 
but not much of a helper
She had no real friends
No one to talk and no one to play with 
Nobody understood her, 
nobody saw through her
 
She was different from all other children
She did not like the same things they liked
She did not have the same dreams they had
Her parents weren’t proud of her
Because she was different, nothing like the princess 
who follow their parents' will and made them happy
She didn’t followed what her parents planed
did not achieved the goals that they set
She wanted to make them proud 
But she was too depressed to try
What they wanted is not
what she wanted

Every night when the moonrise 
The princess climbed the stairwell 
to the top of the castle 
She walked to the balcony 
stared at the black sky 
And weep thousand tears 
let them sweep across her face
 
She cried till her eyes were red, and 
She cannot bear the pain any longer
She seek for the answer to life
 
She screamed to the night sky
Beg the angels to take her away
Ask the Goddess for forgiveness
For whatever she done
She Called her guardian angel 
asked him for help
 
She cried in the pain, 
lost billion tears
But no pain was released
No answers were found 
 
She was buried in her pain 
and drown in her misery 
She was blind in the nothingness
No colours, no shapes, no pictures
Nothing was clear, 
everything was so blurry 
 
She felt hopeless and mindless
Eager in escape this pain

In the darkness, 
where no one was there
She pulled the dragger
and count down her breaths
Held the dragger to her heart
Order her hand to move
stab it deep and kill the pain
with no more thoughts
But she couldn't make it through
She was mad and felt shame
Because she couldn’t get the job done
she realized she didn’t had the guts to
commit this selfish, bloody deed
 
The princess decided to give
life one more chance

To let it works it way
and bring her the answer
to the point on living,
why to bear this endless pain

She decided wait for one good thing to happen
Something to put a real smile on her face
waited for a smile that come from her heart
She waited and waited
But nothing happen
So far.......................

Reviews

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

I like this ending and how it's not the usual suicide. Unique twist on a fairytale; I enjoyed the descriptions in the first stanza.

"Every night when the moonrise" - That doesn't make sense.

"Every stormy night / when thunder hits the ground / Forbidden ran to the princess"
Your verbs don't agree here--"hits" should be "hit" so that it's the same tense as "ran."

The same thing happened here: "She walked to the balcony / stared at the black sky / And weep thousand tears." "Weep" should be "wept" to agree with "stared."

This almost seems like it would work better in prose than in poetry. It's mostly complete sentences that are broken up across a few lines. It was fun to read as a poem, but really seemed more like a story.

[Katannaism]

I think this alternate ending is better. I also loved how you put Victorian and Gothic Lolita into it. I absolutely love this!

[Sylo's Rose]

okay. one its good two is it about her? Three if so you need to let her go and four you send way to many request to me

[Kathryn]

i like this ending better, I think, because its one thing to write about the common story of giving up your life to suicide, but quite another to write about holding on.

[State of Grace]

Hmm giving life another chance or ending it on the spot. I don't know which ending is better!

[A.E. Surdam]

I like this ending. Very good. So dramatic yet peaceful. Great job.