Death From A Broken Heart

He moved to a new town,
felt like he was lost,
he always wore a frown,
till he seen the angel across,

one day he met her,
it was like a sign,
she was so pretty just,
endless like time,

together they fell,
in deep love real fast,
vowed to love each other,
that they'd always last,

then it got stronger,
deeper than thought,
he'd love her forever,
felt life was to short,

then something went wrong,
and they spent less time,
the boy started to wonder,
is she even still mine,

till one day she called,
and heres what she said,
"id rather be alone,
then with u instead,

from that day on,
inside more he died,
he couldn't let go,
no matter how hard he tried,

two and a half years have past,
in life he feels he has no part,
twenty-one days later,
he died from a broken heart,

heres to all u lovers,
who don't picture your selfs apart,
make sure you cherish every moment,
right from the very start....

Reviews

[Vanessa Rico]

This amazed me! Truly, it did. The pictures that you created with your words was beautiful and heart touching...and this poem brought tears to my eyes! Brilliant job!

[soulsearching]

Perfect!! We all go through some heartache....It gets tough when there's children involved. Very well written.

[CharlesMonroe]

This is really sad ): it flowed beautifully though...I like it alot. But I don't like the end cause it scares me with my boyfriend :X (but it's still amazing) major props ^_^
100/100

[Ravyne Hawke]

Beautifully written, nice rhyme, compelling subject matter.. both lovely and sad.. great job!

[Katannaism]

Such tragic words... This is a real keeper! Lots of melancholy and heartbreak... Its just exquisite and full of emotion.

[A.E. Surdam]

Broken hearts, romantic in a melancholy way, yet it is a keeper. A wonderful read with a meaning.

[CompellingComposer]

Slain by a pretty girl and a broken heart! Terrific poem full of emotion and sadness with a universal message. Great job.

[HopelesslyDevoted]

ah the saddest deaths of all... a broken heart causes the worst pain imaginable...unlike physical cuts, they don't always fully heal

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

This was so sad and told a touching story. I know I'm picky when it comes to spelling, but I honestly felt like the spelling errors killed the effect that the poem had on me. Your last stanza is beautiful, but I skimmed over it after reading "heres to all u lovers" and didn't realize how nice it was until I noticed what other reviewers had said. Just fix a few words and this is a much more powerful poem.

"till he seen the angel across" - This line didn't make sense to me.
The stanza that begins with "then it got stronger" seems a little strange because there are no rhymes.
"felt life was to short" --> "felt life was too short"
"heres what she said" --> "here's"
"id rather be alone" --> "I'd"
"then with u instead: --> "than with you..."
"two and a half years have past" --> "passed"
"heres to all u lovers" --> "here's to all you..."
"who don't picture your selfs apart" --> "yourselves"

The line "Is she even still mine" really stood out to me--it fit perfectly.

[Kathryn]

The verse starting: 'heres to all u lovers,' really touched me. I will take a lesson from that verse, and follow your advice :) A beautiful piece, well done again :)