Rage of the Beast

Poem written about betrayal and longing

Anger and rage beat in my breast
Like a beast in a cage, denied any rest.

I want to scream, I want him to bleed
But most of all, I just want to be freed.

Free to seek peace, free to be whole
Free to claim, the other half of my soul.

Tired of the guilt, the daily doses of blame
What has happened to my once bright flame?

I pray to a god in whom I dont believe
For an end to the torment I seek to relieve.

One man holds my heart, he holds my soul
I dream of the day he makes me whole.

Sadness and despair, run thru my veins
Each thrum of life, just causes more pain.

I look to the bird as it flies to the sky
And I wonder, why oh why cant that be I.

Reviews

[Devons]

I should have reviewed this a long time ago since it placed in a contest I created. For such a theme, this is in a different class to the norm. The rhythm, rhyme, and style is excellent, and the tone of it has a tightness and heart. I really admired the lines:
"I pray to a god in whom I dont believe
For an end to the torment I seek to relieve."
A very good piece of work.

[Rebecca Buller]

I look to the bird as it flies to the sky
And I wonder, why oh why can't that be I.

This packed quite an emotional punch. Fantastic job!

[The Uncommon Muse]

thank you so much Rebecca, I truly appreciate the comments

[Miss Coral]

The third stanza was a bit off in the rhythm, and the rhyming seems to take control of the piece in some places, but all in all, this was a great piece. I would try to make the reader experience some of the emotion, rather than just describing yours-- but you did a really great job. :)
Excellent.

[Robyn]

I really love this poem. It is such a strong expression of emotions. I really like the last 2 lines of the poem...it ties it all together very nicely.

great work with this!

[HereWithoutYou<3]

It's really good. It almost felt like I was that person. It's really good :)

[Carolina Kel]

This was really good! There is a lot of emotion here and you do a great job of making the reader feel that. *applause*

[MiidniightSoul]

Oh this was really beautiful. There is so much emotion...Very moving great job ^^

[HappyTaylor]

I REALLY love this. It flows beautifully, and expresses alot. I think I know how you feel here. ;) Great write. :)

[E. R. Rawding]

wow, great job. i love the second to last couplet. great poem, great conveyance of your message, great everything