If I Go

And if I go 

Before you believed was my time 

Find peace 

And understanding 

In my consciousness of what it meant to be alive 

And though I lived a life 

Where suffering was present 

So was I 

In my past 

In my future 

I was present in all tenses of my life 

For I lived in my memories 

And I danced in my day dreams 

And I breathed in the fresh of the water on each car ride to no where in particular 

Just know that I am contempt in all my contemplation of what it is to suffer and what it is to be alive 

For nearly breathing does not invoke the gift of living 

When I see the moon at her fullest 

The stars by her side 

When I swim with the tide 

And bathe in the sun 

I understand that to be living 

Means I am more than my breath

I am all that brings me peace 

I may not know what it is to be completely conscious  

Because I did find bliss in ignorance 

And pain in constant self awareness

But when I feel the breeze of winter wind brush my knotted hair

And let the sun speckle my vision 

And when I feel the freezing rain pierce my temporary flesh 

I know that this body was meant to feel 

And this mind was meant to wonder 

Of all the things I may not know 

And question all that I do 

And though my body may not go to all the places I wish to be 

My mind lets me travel in the night 

So, yes I have seen the world if only in my dreams 

And I have felt true love if only through the elements 

And I have felt alive when I know that I am living 

I am simply here to understand something I am not sure I am meant to learn 

And I am here to question all that holds no meaning 

Because time is fleeting and memories are fading 

So all I have is this moment 

Right now 

And though I fear the unknown 

And I fear my conscious concern 

I dread losing 

And I grieve grief 

Being put on this earth 

In this time 

With all these people I will never know 

And all these places I’ll never see 

All the love I have felt

And all the hurt that I’ll avoid 

Has given me the greatest gift of all

A charmed answer to simple questions 

That I am ready to leave when my clock has struck 

Because leaving does not mean goodbye 

It just means I’ll see you in our next lifetime 

Reviews

[tranquilspace]

LIVING LIFE IS TRULY ANOTHER TWIST, THE PEOPLE IN IT ARE ANOTHER STORY AND SURELY LIKE YOU SAID WHEN YOUR CLOCK HAS STRUCK AND IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO IT'S NOT GOOD BYE, IT NEVER REALLY IS. THIS PIECE IS VERY WONDERFUL AND NARRATIVE, THANK YOU FOR SHARING.

[Coyote Poetry]

Hard to grasp dear poet.
"Because leaving does not mean goodbye
It just means I’ll see you in our next lifetime"
The above lines, we shall learn. We will learn the sadness of death and hope. We will meet them again. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[The Things She Noted]

Thank you for your kind words Mr. Coyote!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Reading your poem made me wish I could go back in time and live in the moment. To not be afraid to dance because I didn't know how to and was embarrassed. Wishing I would have stuck my face out more to feel the sun and warm wind on my face in a drive. To take chances, and not accumulate regrets, that later haunt in life. To be in the now; young again. Thank you for sharing this.

[The Things She Noted]

My best advice is to do that all now as you would have then, life is never too late! Thank you for your comment! :)