You

 

Seeing you, it doesn’t kill me.

Hearing you still makes me smile.

Learning more about you thrills me,

understanding your artistic style.

Sharing with you all things new,

figuring out your bemused thought,

comprehending the shifting hue,

watching as each bright shade fought.

 

The color of your name has dimmed,

the letters comprising it grown smaller;

now my idea-you is only skimmed

and your name inside’s no longer hollered

with exuberance and jubilation;

instead, it’s dropped, as if in passing.

Oh love dimmed by blown expectation,

snared by dark thoughts that are massing,

why, good sir, your change of heart?

Why on earth’d you change your mind?

I’d rather you said at the start

you were not wanting to be mine.

 

Do you sense the problem here?

Much as I’d love to say I’m fine

I cannot stand to have you near

for just a little bit more time.

I want to break you, yell and scream,

but touching you could cause me pain;

these thought should remain just dreams,

not acted upon, leave soul unstained.

 

So pardon my mild craziness,

but it is YOU who causes my distress.

Reviews

[Katherine Wyatt]

I have one of these..brilliant..how I loved to exchange ides and listen to him he was so brilliant..Fortunately he has been gone years now..As we tried to be friends I had to eliminate that as he was so cruel at times..
You have caught something universal and very intimate here..what wonderful piece!

[raining]

Yes I have known a woman who wanted friendship but then in one day, at once, decided recently to follow a fellow who she found, it certtainly is a wellspring to write from. She gave me many good poems and i thank her for it. You, yes an excellent expressive poem. I understand it very well. -raining

[Ardeh]

just wanna say its a really touching poem and i am sure that everyone can relate to it.

[Alex]

The emotion and imagery portrayed in this poem is beautiful. =]

[Lauren]

I very much loved this. You write the way I wish I did. :) Excellent piece!

[Sorry Infamous]

I really enjoyed this. I have no constructive criticism for you. I just wanted to let you know this was one of best poems I've read on this site. I could relate... your language was beautiful and flawless... I'll stop flattering you now. :)

[Gav Mac]

this is definately one of the best poems i've read so far. I love your use of language and rather than reading the poem in my mind i find myself acting out the situations. In a kind of day dream Its fantastic. very subtle but very powerful. thanks.

[Anita B Jacques]

I love it, Dream and something is missing, reality maybe? Well written, very smooth. Thank you for sharing. God Bless.

Anita

[The DuchessPoet]

Molly,
this is an amazing write!
Your words that resonate in my mind:
"Oh love dimmed by blown expectation,
snared by dark thoughts that are massing,
why, good sir, your change of heart?
Why on earth'd you change your mind?
I'd rather you said at the start
you were not wanting to be mine.

Do you sense the problem here?"

Do you sense the problem here...?

OMG, this is incredible!
Very well done, my talented friend, VERY WELL DONE!

I thoroughly enjoyed this write!
I LOVE IT
I LOVE IT
I LOVE IT!

[East of Eden]

i love it! you have masterful control over this play of heart wrenching emotion. it has much more depth than a lot of the 'breakup' writes i've read on writerscafe. i can really connec to it because i see myself in it as many others undoubtedly do.

I want to break you, yell and scream,

but touching you could cause me pain

This is pure honesty and pure expression. This is the kind of work that makes people feel less alone in times of heartbreak. It's very improtant, great work!

[Adeline]

This is really good and describes exactly how I feel about some people sometimes. Nice write, keep it up. :)