Holy light

A poem reflecting my journey through illness.

An’ so, the saviors’ called -came bearing, as a breath in the cold

An’ as the autumn leaves pile, amassed- to rustle, brown an’ gold

An’ from betwixt the veil -stepped ghostly, from air, sea an’ rail

A thousand emerging ever silent, from the lips of winter’s gale

 

For, held I a body

Able to heal

Not merely in dream

I would wait ‘till, the birds of the morn’

Sang the nightly to rest -for they have become so very weary of me

 

An’ as the cohort marched upon me, as if to shake the stars from the sky

An’ I felt my body welded into shell -puzzle of flesh an' bone, left to swell

Yet, never did they allow their pain upon me…

An’ even promised to take mine, an’ make my body strong and well

 

For I saw, the young an’ old -raising faith as fiery sword, high an' brightly bold

Golden thorns an’ deathly wills -all held holy, by invisible hands hold

Belly’s steeled by letters of perfumed swirl

Lust an’ love an’ will -on the eve of war, every edge to curl…

An’ yet, never did they know, nor allow, the truth that may dwell

So deeply silent, beyond the holy light -of their only well

 

Map of dark water, constellation on sheet

A stir

Climb into bed

Close eyes an’ repeat

 

An' so, as the rot breathed deep, beneath my fetid limbs cast

An’ I begged every savior, of their gods -to save me, as the battle passed

Saw waves of flesh an' steel; crashing thunder, bodies tangled -broken as clay

An’ from the heavens, lightning to strike -every eye, looking up to pray

 

An’ as my every word an’ thought froze -in its hilt, benign an’ ever still

An’ all alone, found no glimmering in their eyes -waxy, pale an’ chill

An’ as their blades, once tempered, crumbled by the mere wind as it blew by

So I shattered, into a million thoughts, of a billion things, an' fluttered into the sky

 

Splashed upon pavement

Hand sliding from phone

A fading siren

To wale an’ carry me home

 

An’ so, the saviors’ called -never answered, my breath in the cold

An’ as the autumn leaves pile, amassed- to merely rust, brown an’ gold

An’ from betwixt the veil -screamed ghostly, from air, sea an’ rail

A thousand to die silent, within the grin of winter’s deathly gale

 

An’ for a very long time, I merely existed

An’ as words, had so soon gone

Burning up -ashes, falling from grace

Breaching, the outer hemisphere of the earth

An’ so I wished, to never return from…

The lonely grave of space

 

An’ so, as the rain raced down -to bleach clear, through asphalt vein

An’ I saw in every window, a shadow where only neon light should reign

Choking the home, that gripped my parents’ heart -held by some psychic pain

An as my heartstrings fell through -was left, to replace their every vein an’ sinew

 

Drape, from my shoulder

A hospital gown

An’ paint across floor

With colorful pill

An’ upside-down frown

 

An so, as my body broke -against every heart an' clock, unwilling to slow its decay

An’ I lay, a bare husk -in the skin of a creature -dirt an’ rot; in hair, tooth an' nail

Barely able breath, heart to stumble -splashing ‘round the dark pooling red

And so, if I had a will, It now lay rotting -beneath the ocean, upon urchin bed

 

An' so the years passed…

 

An as my fever finally broke, upon wax wounded mantle -an' time fell eerily still

So soon the other saviors called, to garnish praise for invisible beings taking my ill

An’ so, I wished upon them -all the love their gods had given me

For, my demons dwell not there, but in the golden hope -they never had to spare

 

An’ so the years withered, an’ matured petals -fell from blooming eye

An’ a thousand faces blew past -racing clouds within the sky

An’ I came to grow strong, an ‘so rose above -those days of winters’ cold reign

An' myself, became a savior, to those most desperate -all alone an' left in pain

 

An’ so, as a savior I called -came earning, my breath in the cold

An’ as the autumn leaves pile, amassed- to follow through an’ unfold

From betwixt the veil -an’ so step wholly, upon air, sea an’ rail

A single man redeemed, by the grip of winter’s gale

 

An so, for a very long time, I existed