Commentary (an excerpt from my book, The Kind-Hearted Smartass)

Commentary

What did everyone think of the book or author?

 

“I feel dirty after reading this.” - Prostitute

 

“We like a lot of guys, but he may be our favorite.” - Boy Band

 

“The book was interesting. It… Oh, did you see that bird over there? Wow, there are a lot of planes that come this way, huh? That blade of grass is moving quite a bit. Oh, look, a car!” - Person with ADD

 

“Why do you do this to me? My parents are going to hate you now because of this book! Why? Why, Craig? Do you want me to be miserable? Sometimes I think you do. Ugh!” - Future Wife

 

“I’ll get to your question in a second. Let me pull out my binoculars first. You see him up there? He’s working out again. God, he’s so hot!” - Stalker

 

“Thank God I saved his sinful a*s.” - Jesus

 

“It looks like he will be receiving plenty of coal this year.” - Santa Claus

 

“I loved it!” - Satan

 

“You can tell he went all in. Speaking of which, I’d like to go all in.” - Professional Poker Player and Porn Star on the side

 

“I can tell you this much. After reading this, even if he were a woman, he would not be lucky #7.” - Polygamist

 

“It weally swucks!” - Elmer Fudd

 

“Well, he ain’t my cousin, but he seems alright.” " Southerner

 

“Give me a S! Give me a U! Give me a P! Give me an E! Give me a R! Give me a B! What’s that spell, girls? Eh, super, b? What’s that?” - Cheerleaders

 

“It was muy goodo. Eh, tengo mucho laughs.” - Spanglish Major

 

“I can’t really decide what I think about it. I could go either way.” - Bisexual

 

“Wait… You’re asking me what? Well, I don’t know. Where’s my writer at? Hey! I need an answer! Where are you? I can’t do this without you!” - Pop Star

 

“I thought it was very good. It made me laugh so much it hurt! What the hell is wrong with him? Does he really think this stuff is funny? He sucks! Gosh, I really like his style of writing. He’s very talented.” - Person with Bipolar Disorder

 

“Better not tell you now.” - Magic 8-Ball

 

“It was said today that Craig Rozniecki’s new book has saved the world, but onto more important matters. Is it true that this congressman really slept with his wife’s twin sister? Also ahead, do you hear voices? If so, you may be schizophrenic. All this and more after these commercials.” - News Anchor

 

“It’s greeeeeeeaaaa… Eh, it’s alright.” - Tony the Tiger

 

“I honestly haven’t had time to read this book. I’m so confused. My wife is sleeping with my father. I’m dating her best friend. My brother is seemingly competing with me for her best friend. Meanwhile, my mother was caught the other day with Tiger Woods.” - A Soap Opera Star

 

“He’s such a smartass! I hate smartasses!” - Dumbass

 

Osama bin Laden was unavailable for comment.

This book and my three others can be viewed and/or purchased at the following site: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/thetaoofroz