A Vicious Cycle

A Vicious Cycle

A vicious cycle,
I'm unable to break,
Seeking answers,
To learn from my mistakes,

Retracing my steps,
Rehashing my words and actions,
Wondering where I went wrong,
What else I could have said or done,

Do I push too hard?
Or not hard enough?
Am I too open?
Am I too honest?

I do everything in my power,
To put a smile on your face,
To stimulate laughter,
To instill happiness,

Then seemingly ignored,
As the distance inevitably grows,
Pain fills my heart,
Aching to know the truth,

A vicious cycle,
I long to break,
For the words and actions to be reciprocated,
For another to put a smile on my face.